


Two Different Places

by thirdmixtape



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2020-10-26 00:55:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20733584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirdmixtape/pseuds/thirdmixtape
Summary: "Baby if you loved me the way I love you, we wouldn't be two different places."





	1. Chapter 1 Part 1

_~_

_“I’ll be where I’ll be, love me if you want.” _

These words have echoed through her mind ever since she left the voice who uttered it out. Her hands tighten around the steering wheel, hands clamming up due to how nervous she is. Ever since she got off the plane, she’s been feeling all sorts of mixed emotions. 

It’s been two years since she’s left. She thinks it’s funny how time and memories have the ability to create this illusion of attachment. As she drives by places she used to be familiar with, there’s no longer an air of intimacy to it but sadness. She knows it’s cliché to say that things are the same but different, but clichés are the only way to describe things sometimes. Cause that’s how it was. As she drove around the city she used to call home, it seemed like she was looking through a lens that distorted the view. She only knew what it was because she had been there before, but to new eyes, they’d never be able to tell what it used to be like. 

She loosens her grip around the wheel, temporarily disarmed at the thought of how things used to be before she left. She knows that there’s no guarantee that she’d be happier if she never left in the first place. In fact, so far, she’s been pretty satisfied with how her life has turned out but every time she thinks of her past back home, she misses the people in her former life. 

When she first left, keeping in touch with everyone was easy. As she got settled into her new place away from home, there was a routine her and her friends and family established for them to be able to talk regularly. But as time went on, as she juggled her studies and her part time job as a lab assistant for a big research facility, she found it hard to find time for her old friends back home. Although she’s quiet and reserved, it wasn’t long until she gained popularity among her peers for her good looks and her dorky personality. She’d made new friends, but she still feels the longing for her old ones from time to time when she has bouts of homesickness. 

Life abroad wasn’t cruel for her, but there were still hardships that were hard for her to grasp since she was so sheltered as she was raised. Life was definitely simpler back home where her parents would take care of her daily meals. That and there was this constant feeling of comfort in knowing the close proximity of her best friends who were just a walk down the street. Most of all, she was enveloped with the feeling of being whole in knowing she had a lover who was incredibly close to consuming her whole world. 

An automated voice interrupts the song playing in the car and she eyes the car’s GPS, squinting at the street name she needs to make a left on. Suddenly a ringing through her car speakers causes her to jump slightly from the seat and she looks on the car screen to see “_Jiwoo is calling_”.

“Sol unnie?”

“Hey Jiwoo, what’s up?”

Jiwoo contacted Jinsol days before she was heading back home, knowing the older girl had graduated and was going to be flying back. Jinsol and Sooyoung were always close due to being the same age, and Jiwoo wanted to make sure the blonde would be able to attend her girlfriend’s graduation dinner, knowing Sooyoung would love for her childhood best friend to celebrate an important milestone in her life. 

_“A graduation dinner Jinsol unnie! We can even make it a joint one since you’ve graduated too. It’ll be like old times when you and Sooyoungie would have joint celebrations for everything!”_

It had always been hard to turn down Jiwoo’s invitations. Even more so now that Jinsol hadn’t been able to attend anything for the past few years. There was a feeling of guilt, knowing that she’s missed out on so many important celebrations that she would’ve celebrated with her group of friends if only she had never left in the first place. She respectfully declined making it a joint graduation dinner since she still felt nervous about the friends she left behind. But knowing Jiwoo, she’d still make it a joint celebration despite Jinsol declining. 

_Would they so easily accept her back into the friendship group after so much radio silence?_ Jinsol isn’t one to be naive. She knows she can’t just slip back into people’s lives like that. She wipes her hands on her thighs for the nth time in the span of 15 minutes of driving. Although she was coming back home with no expectations, she was still a nervous wreck.

“I was just wondering how long ‘til you get here?”

“ETA is 7 minutes.”

“Awesome, I’ll see you in a bit then! Drive safe.”

Jinsol stiffens as she hears a certain voice in the background of the call. 

“See you soon Jiwoo,” she says in reply before ending the call. She hasn’t heard that voice in a long while. She drums her fingers onto the steering wheel, and not particularly to the beat of the music that’s resumed to playing through the car speakers. After a few seconds of restless drumming, she forms a fist with one hand and starts banging the centre console of her car to release the jitters in her body more forcefully. 

Hearing that voice has gotten her infinitely times more antsy than before but there’s also an underlying feeling of anger. It just wasn’t fair. She knew the other girl would still have an effect on her but the spike in her heart rate just by the faint sound of her voice in the background of a call was a betrayal to what her mind decided long ago. Was she over the other girl? Sure. Was there the possibility of residual feelings still lingering around? Yes. The two seemed to contradict each other but Jinsol still truly believed that there was nothing more to it. Yet her hopes to how this night would turn out contradicted that too. 

Jinsol steps a little harder onto the gas pedal, thinking that as she gets closer to Jungeun, this feeling in her chest would finally leave. For good. She hopes it’ll be replaced with a feeling that doesn’t ache. 

~

Hyunjin minds her business, but she does pay attention. She eyes the beer in the other girl’s hand. The label’s been uncleanly pulled off the bottle, a small mess of torn and balled up paper lying on the table to her left. She winces as she watches nails scratch at the glass, the other girl attempting to rid of the sticky residue left behind by the label. Hyunjin brings her own bottle of beer to her lips as she raises her eyes to the furrowed brows of the girl next to her. She grabs a full bottle from her right and places it in front of the girl which causes them to look up in confusion at Hyunjin’s gesture.

“I still haven’t finished this bottle.” 

“Swallowing isn’t hard. Drink more, Jungeun unnie. It’ll loosen you up.”

Jungeun warily looks into Hyunjin’s eyes, wondering if Hyunjin was aware of why she was slightly on edge but the girl stares right back at her with that famous blank expression she does so well. Jungeun had always been cautious of the girl with cat-like eyes, especially since the girl had always been close to Jinsol. 

Hyunjin feigns innocence as she looks back into Jungeun’s eyes. She’s well aware of what went down between Jungeun and Jinsol since she was the one Jinsol had run to talk to about her broken heart. She knew Jinsol hardly kept in contact with any of the other girls during her time abroad but from time to time, Jinsol would message her out of the blue. And Hyunjin did the same. Sure, Sooyoung was Jinsol’s best friend growing up but Hyunjin was Jinsol’s sister. They weren’t sisters by blood, but their friendship went beyond the line of friends and bordered on family, something she knew Jungeun felt slightly threatened by once upon a time. 

A phone lights up between the two and both eyes break contact to look at the lit-up screen. 

MESSAGES now

**Sol unnieeee**

Just parked… Can you come get me from out front?

Hyunjin clears her throat as she stands from her seat, picking up her phone, her thumb already tapping to call the blonde. She looks down at Jungeun’s head, which is now thrown back as the girl downs the unfinished beer she’d been nursing since she arrived at the restaurant. She’s got her phone pressed to her ear, ready to walk to the entrance to grab Jinsol and the last thing Hyunjin sees Jungeun do is reach for the new bottle of beer she left in front of her. 

~

The Jungeun that stands in front of her is now a brunette. It’s not a welcome change but it’s not an _un_welcome change either. Jinsol’s mind can’t seem to make up whether she likes it or hates it. Jinsol does note though, how the dark hair easily contrasts with the younger girl’s light skin, giving out a more mature appearance as well as a mysterious vibe. In a split second, she concludes that it’s a change that speeds up her already rapid heartbeat. She leaves the thought at that. 

There’s no hug. There’s no hug but she’s given a simple, soft smile from Jungeun and Jinsol counts up to two seconds. It was exactly two seconds their eyes met until the younger girl casts her eyes down as she takes her seat. After greeting the old gang again with teary smiles and tight hugs, Jinsol takes a seat in front of Hyunjin, aware that Jungeun is sitting to Hyunjin’s left. She’s glad she doesn’t have to be directly in front of the younger girl and is grateful that the seating arrangement gives just enough breathing room for both parties since there was an obvious tinge of awkwardness that hung in the air. The awkwardness was so obvious that it made the atmosphere dense, so dense that their other friends could feel it with discomfort. 

Suddenly, Jinsol hears a squeal before feeling arms wrap around her shoulders, giving her a tight squeeze. She looks up to see a familiar face that causes her chest to constrict. A smile spreads on Jinsol’s face as she sees her baby, yet it was clear that they were a baby no more. 

“Sollie unnie! I’ve missed you so much!”

“Oh my god. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you Yerimie!”

Sooyoung had never been more glad that Yerim and Hyejoo had arrived late to a gathering since Yerim’s happy pill of a personality was strong enough to dissipate the awkwardness that was present at the dinner table. Sooyoung brings a beer to Jinsol as the two take their seats, and Jinsol notices something that Hyunjin’s forgot to mention to her. 

“Hyun, where’s Heejin?”

The younger girl swallows a big gulp of beer. The others don’t notice but to the blonde, Hyunijn’s showing a slight discomfort to the question asked. 

“She’ll join us after dinner. The karaoke bar.”

Jinsol merely nods at her friend’s answer, deciding to ask her about it in depth later on in the night. The whole table quietens as they hear Sooyoung clear her throat. They all look up to the head of the table to see the girl raising her beer to make a toast to start off the night. 

“For Jinsol,” she nods towards the tall blonde, “and of course me, for getting out of the hell hole called University. And here’s to some of y'all that are still going through it. Good luck. Jinsol and I pray that ya’ll have enough brain cells to graduate like your unnies. Cheers!”

The sound of laughter and the clinks of glasses being tapped against one another can be heard from the biggest table in the restaurant. 

Throughout dinner, the conversation easily flows among the group of friends. Congratulations are passed around as the other girls congratulate both Sooyoung and Jinsol for graduating. As she listens into the several stories from those around her, she has little moments of clarity where she feels almost displaced from the whole scene, realising she’s missed out on major parts of her friend’s lives. There were so many “I’ve missed you”s that was being said that Jinsol couldn’t help but feel the small ball of guilt she already felt, roll up till it grew bigger and bigger. 

Jinsol’s already onto her third beer, trying to fill up a hole in her chest due to the thought that she still hadn’t heard the words “I’ve missed you” from the one person she wanted to hear it from the most. But Jinsol knows that she deserves it. She deserves not to be missed by her. She totally understands that there’s nothing between them now and she accepts that but she’s slightly hurt that Jungeun doesn’t seem to miss the actual friendship that the two shared even when they were together as girlfriends.

It was clear to Jinsol that Jungeun has been avoiding eye contact with her. It was also obvious that Jungeun would refrain from speaking directly to the blonde. But what the blonde failed to notice, is that Jungeun’s covertly watching her as she busily talks about her life abroad. 

As dinner goes on, Jinsol finally realises that Jungeun seems to look her way every now and then. The blonde notes how Jungeun’s eyes slant in curiosity then confusement. Jungeun’s been swallowing more beer more frequently and the blonde realises that the brunette’s bothered by her playing with her necklace and so she decides to let it fall under her top as she continues to talk to Yerim. 

The whole table is engrossed with Yerim and Hyejoo arguing about a film they saw together. Jinsol laughs at the banter between the two but starts to cough as the food in her mouth goes down the wrong hole. Jinsol’s eyes quickly dart to each drink near her, trying to spot a bottle of water that hasn’t been touched by someone else’s lips. Suddenly, a hand from across the table places an unopened bottle water in front of her and a look of relief comes over the blonde’s face before it shows slight confusion. She looks up to see Jungeun go back to eating her food nonchalantly, not even sparing a glance at her. She slightly bows her head in thanks despite Jungeun not looking at her.

Jinsol hides a small smile behind a dumpling that she places in front of her mouth, happy at the thought of how the younger girl still remembers how she doesn’t like sharing her drinks. She places the dumpling in her mouth as she thinks about the familiarity that still floats between the two. Both are conscious of the haze between them yet are totally aware it’s an illusion of their past memories together. She’s been gone for two years but the fact that she’s been together with Jungeun since their early days of high school, it really shouldn’t surprise her that the other girl would remember something so little about Jinsol, yet the tiny gesture leaves her slightly giddy. Maybe there was a chance for Jinsol to get Jungeun back in her life. As friends, that is. 

At first, it was common decency to pretend that they’ve forgotten past habits of being a couple, but with Jungeun’s gesture, although seemingly subconscious, Jinsol decides to show the other girl that there are things she hasn’t forgotten either. 

The blonde’s noticed at dinner so far, how the brunette would wince every time she’d swallow her beer. She raises her hand as a waitress walks near their table and whispers into their ear. A couple minutes later, the same waitress comes to Jinsol with a bucket full of ice and several glasses. The blonde smiles in thanks before she takes a glass and fills it to the brim with ice before placing it in front of Jungeun. 

Jungeun stares at the glass before shaking her head with a small smile on her face. She takes her bottle of beer and pours the liquid into the ice filled glass, choosing to ignore the girl who gave it to her in the first place. Jinsol bites her bottom lip in an attempt to stop herself from smiling, content that Jungeun even poured her beer into it. 

She still remembers how the younger girl prefers to drink her beer with lots and lots of ice. Now, looking at the plate in front of the brunette, Jinsol decides to be cheeky and places the small canister of chilli oil in front of Jungeun. This wasn’t a power move, but it almost started to seem like a game to the blonde. 

The brunette bites both her lips shut, trying not to laugh at Jinsol’s unnecessary gesture since anyone with eyes can clearly see that there was already chilli oil in between Jungeun and Jiwoo. Jungeun always told Jinsol back when they were together that food tastes better when it’s spicy. Back when they used to have ramen dates, she’d add so much chilli oil to her bowl that her ramen ended up bright red in comparison to Jinsol’s normal ramen. She grabs the chilli oil that Jinsol placed in front of her and puts some on to the dumplings on her plate before making a show of getting the other chili oil on her left to add even more. 

Jinsol, satisfied with their short back and forth, turns to Hyunjin to start up another conversation.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi friends,
> 
> At the start of the year I asked a good friend of mine to write a fic with me just for fun. This is it.  
I have so much to say about this fic but I'll keep quiet for now... After all, this is just the start.
> 
> Again: questions, thoughts, feelings and comments are welcome and appreciated.
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> (I won't share my twitter but here is my friend's: @Heekkeys)


	2. Chapter 1 Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I would like to dedicate this next song, If You Come Back by Gummy, to- never mind... Yerim-aahhh, more beer please."

~

The strobes lights are on, the music is loud and the voices singing along are surprisingly on key. Jinsol was very opposed to joining karaoke after dinner but Yerim mentioned to the blonde how she improved her vocals after going to karaoke frequently once Jinsol left. The blonde ended up deciding that delaying the warmth of her bed for a couple more hours wouldn’t kill her and it’d be worth it to hear Yerim’s angelic voice sing once again. Jinsol didn’t necessarily feel the need to see or talk to Jungeun but there was this small part of her that begged her to stay within the younger girl’s presence. Jinsol reaches for another beer as she tries to figure out whether it’s her mind or her heart that’s begging.

All the girls are squeezed into the karaoke booth that Jiwoo booked. The booth is curved in a soft U like shape, facing the big screen attached to the wall. Jinsol mentally curses at the younger ones for wanting to sit in the middle since there’s hardly any more space for her butt to sit on. That and she ends up having to sit next to Jungeun. The blonde quickly takes another swig of beer, hoping more alcohol will make her numb to the thigh she feels that’s been pressed against hers for the past 10 minutes that they’ve been here. Jiwoo lets out a big squeal and all the girls look to see Heejin arrive at the booth. 

“Heejin, where’s Haseul? I thought she said she was coming with you?”

“She exhausted herself today since we’ve been practicing like crazy for our performance,” Heejin squeezes herself in between Hyunjin and Yerim despite there being hardly any space along while swiping the beer off Hyunjin’s hand as the girl was about to take a drink. 

“She decided to just head home,” Heejin takes a gulp before handing the beer back to an unimpressed Hyunjin. 

“She texted me before saying her throat was getting a little sore, so I’ll be swinging by her place after to check up on her,” Jungeun adds before taking a sip.

Jinsol silently wonders who this Haseul girl could be but decides to ignore the thought as she catches Jungeun’s side profile. Seeing the reflections of the strobe lights through Jungeun’s eyes causes the blonde to get lost in them for several seconds before remembering she can’t openly admire the younger girl like she used to. She simply feels she doesn’t have the right to anymore. 

Jinsol quickly finishes off her beer before deciding that it’s time her and Jungeun talked. She was adamant that she didn’t care whether it’d be a proper conversation or just small talk as the blonde subconsciously yearned for a friendly interaction between the two. 

Jinsol honestly doesn’t know which honorific to greet Jungeun anymore due to their past relationship. She decides to greet her formally. 

“Jungeun ssi.”

Jinsol notices the slight flinch Jungeun does when she hears the honorific that leaves Jinsol’s lips. Jinsol pretends not to see.

“Jinsol unnie.”

Jinsol hasn’t heard Jungeun say that in years since she only ever called her that before they started dating. She purses her lips as she subconsciously remembers about the days she used to be called _baby_. 

“We didn’t really get to talk during dinner.”

“And you think the best time to talk is at karaoke?”

Jinsol grimaced at Jungeun’s question, suddenly realising that maybe Jungeun doesn’t want to talk to her at all.

“You do hear Yerim rapping into the mic too, right? Or am I not drunk enough yet?” 

The blonde, grateful at Jungeun’s follow up question, laughs because she can clearly hear Yerim rap Roman Holiday and it’s not even the song being played. Jungeun and Jinsol turn towards the others as they hear Sooyoung start shouting, “Hyejoo-ah, grab the mic off Yerim!”

They chuckle as they watch the tall girl try and peel fingers off the mic but Yerim just further tightens her grip as she starts singing, “Come all ye faithful! Joyful and triumphant! I am Roman Zolanski! Aaaaahhhhhhh!!! TALKING ‘BOUT ME, YOU TALKING ABOUT ME? I DARE A MOTHERFUCKER TO BE TALKING ABOUT ME!” 

Within seconds, all the girls start rapping along with Yerim and Sooyoung can’t help but join since Jiwoo’s going along with them too. Jinsol and Jungeun just watch and laugh at their friends’ antics because it sounds like a whole mess. 

Jinsol turns back to Jungeun, “Ok, I feel like you and I both, are definitely not drunk enough.”

Before the brunette can reply, Jiwoo announces that it’s Jungeun’s turn. Jinsol looks to the girl beside her and sees Jungeun open her mouth to protest but Yerim’s already squealing, tapping on the tablet, already choosing what song the brunette would sing. 

Jinsol reads the song title on the big screen and she can feel Jungeun look over her head. She can’t see the look on Jungeun’s face, but she definitely knows by how the thigh to her left has tensed up that the brunette is throwing a piercing gaze at one of the other girls. Jinsol takes a guess that her baby, Yerim, is the one copping the death glare from Jungeun. 

“Nice pick Yerim-ah!” Jiwoo claps her hands, clearly excited to hear her friend sing the ballad. 

Jinsol looks to her right as she feels Hyunjin rest her hand on her right thigh. Hyunjin ignores Jinsol and continues to watch the tv screen, waiting for the song to start. Jinsol decides that maybe her friend needed some skinship, much like the old days. She quickly looks around at her friends and notices that Hyunjin isn’t the only one that seems a little tense. So is Yerim. Yerim’s pressing a short smile onto the mouth of her root beer bottle but her eyes are tight. Jinsol knows that Hyunjin’s stiff since she’s been sitting next to Heejin but as she looks at Yerim, nothing seems to be off between her and Hyejoo. Suddenly Hyunjin’s hand squeezes her thigh as they all hear Jungeun’s voice softly sing the first lyrics of the song.

**Even your last goodbye was so cold **

**You turned round without even saying farewell**

Jinsol understands now. 

**Are you alright?**

**Are you happy now?**

**I’m still having a hard time**

**Like a fool, I still think of you**

Jinsol keeps her eyes on the screen yet she doesn’t read along to the lyrics as they’re highlighted. Instead, her mind is solely focused on listening to the girl on her left, willing herself not to look at Jungeun. 

**I hold the empty phone receiver and call out your name**

**I haven’t even pressed any buttons**

**You aren’t like this**

**Now you probably forgot my face and my voice**

Jinsol can’t help herself but quickly take a glance to her left. Jungeun’s own eyes are glued to the screen before she closes her eyes. The blonde turns back to face the front as she can’t help but feel like watching Jungeun sing this particular song was an invasion of the brunette’s privacy. 

**I still live, holding onto the memories that I keep alone**

**I walk on the streets we walked together, all by myself**

**Just in case I meet you as I walk on those streets**

**And just in case we fall in love again…**

Jinsol bites her tongue, the familiar feeling of guilt rising up through her chest and up through her throat, wanting to burst out of her body. She brings her beer to her lips and swallows, trying to bury the images of Jungeun going through what the lyrics are saying.

**I couldn’t send the letter I wrote you**

**And it’s just laying here in my hands**

**You aren’t like this**

**You’ve buried myself and everything that I’ve said**

_Is there a truth to the words being sung?_ Jinsol’s grip on her beer grows limp at the thought that Jungeun would think that she wasn’t affected by their breakup. As the song goes on, Jinsol gradually finds herself stifled by the air that occupies the space between her and the brunette.

**I still live, holding onto the memories that I keep alone**

**I walk on the streets we walked together, alone **

**Just in case I meet you as I walk on those streets**

**And just in case we fall in love again…**

Jinsol looks back at her friends and sees that no one besides Hyunjin and Yerim seem to notice how deep the lyrics run into hers and Jungeun’s past relationship. Heejin sways slowly beside Hyunjin, singing along softly with a faint smile on her lips. Yerim sits beside Heejin, the younger brunette intently looking at the screen, not singing the lyrics but whispering them to herself while sparing glances at Jungeun every few seconds. Hyejoo sits to Yerim’s right and she’s resting her head on Yerim’s shoulder singing to herself. Meanwhile, Jiwoo’s singing along without the mic, letting Jungeun take all the glory as she rests her chin on Sooyoung’s shoulder. Jinsol finally looks to her left to watch Jungeun sing as she belts out the next verse.

**If I see you today, I have to tell you**

**Tell you that I’ve been looking for you **

**Tell you that you can’t say that you’ll leave me ever again**

The blonde’s eyes roam over the brunette’s face and she wonders if Jungeun sings this song with genuine feeling or if she’s just singing this song the way it’s meant to be sung. Listening to the lyrics as the other girl sings, Jinsol can’t help but wonder if the raw emotion behind Jungeun’s voice held some truth to it. Does Jungeun still want her? Would she even take her back? The blonde doesn’t know why she even cares or even wants to know. She decided not too long ago that she’d come home without any expectations but the feeling of yearning for _something_ can’t seem to go away. 

**I don’t want to live as I hold onto exhausted memories**

**I want to walk those sad streets with you**

**I hope my heart will touch you**

Jinsol is very familiar with the weight of exhausted memories and the way that heaviness can cause the day to drag on and on. She knows all too well due to the times she’s exhausted her mind with reruns of past times with Jungeun. Back then, sometimes she’d lie awake at night and wonder if Jungeun was back in South Korea feeling utterly tired from running through Jinsol’s mind all day. It was incredibly cheesy, corny and utter bullshit but she liked the idea that her and Jungeun had a connection that transcended distance. Looking back on it now, she thinks about how childish it all was to think that way. But she doesn’t cringe at the thought of her childishness. She knows that being in love made her like that.

Her eyes haven’t left Junegun’s face and Jinsol forms fists with both her hands to stop herself from reaching out to her. She sees the expression on the younger girl’s face and to the blonde, it looks like the look of defeat. Jinsol refuses to dwell on whether there was any meaning to it and settles with listening to Jungeun’s voice as she sings the next line softly. 

**So that we can love again..**

**If you come back…**

The song finishes and the blonde breathes out, now seemingly aware that she hasn’t been exactly breathing right throughout the whole song. She can’t help but wonder if Jungeun was singing the song _to_ her. It makes sense if Jungeun felt this song and related to it back when the breakup was fresh but it’s been two years since then. 

Surely Jungeun doesn’t think and feel the same as the lyrics she just sung. Jinsol nods as she thinks this, knowing she, herself, made the decision to get over their relationship while she was abroad, and she has no doubt Jungeun would’ve tried to get over it too. But seeing Jungeun and being around her, it’s brought up things she’s buried long ago. Jinsol never knew how she was after she left since she was too much of a coward to ask her friends about Jungeun. 

Would Jungeun be feeling the same thing Jinsol is feeling right now? Jinsol herself can’t even describe her feelings and her thoughts. It’s just a mess. She knows one thing though… That’s she’s conflicted. Conflicted about- the blonde flinches as movement to her left brings her out of her thoughts. Jungeun stands as the score is calculated and announces to the whole group that she’ll be at the bar. Slightly rattled by the other girl’s quick movement, all Jinsol can do is watch as the brunette walks away as the number 100 flashes on the screen. 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	3. Chapter 1 Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I do believe in love. It's permanence though? Now that, I'm not so sure of Yerim-ah."

~

“I’ll have what she’s having,” Jinsol takes a seat on the bar stool to Jungeun’s left as the guy behind the bar opens the fridge behind him. Her eyes widen at seeing the opened soju bottle on Jungeun’s right. 

“Actually, can you just give me a shot glass?” She turns to Jungeun, “Do you mind if we just share?”

Jinsol is always keen to get blind drunk, but she knows she needs to at least be able to form words if she wants to have a proper conversation with the girl to her right - the main reason why she declined soju at dinner and chose to stick with beer. 

“I didn’t mind then; I don’t mind now.” 

A shot glass is slid between the two girls and Jungeun instantly pours the shot with one hand carelessly before Jinsol can hold the glass up with both her hands. With this gesture, Jinsol understands that the younger one is forgoing drinking etiquette and knows that right now, Jungeun gives no fucks. 

Jinsol opens her mouth to add to what Jungeun said but Jungeun’s finished pouring and is now nodding at the glass, urging Jinsol to quickly down it. The blonde puffs out the air in her lungs in a huff before taking the shot with both hands, turning her head away from Jungeun as she shoots it down, drinking etiquette still so ingrained within her despite being abroad for a couple years. 

Slamming her glass down, Jinsol takes the green bottle and holds it with both her hands prepared to pour a shot for Jungeun. The brunette just stares at the blonde in a slight daze for a couple seconds before she realises Jinsol’s pointing both her brows at the glass shot in front of her, waiting for the younger girl to hold it up with both hands. 

Jungeun does what Jinsol silently asks and when the blonde finishes pouring the shot Jungeun places it on the bar, before taking the bottle with both hands to fill up Jinsol’s. This time, she waits for Jinsol to hold her glass properly. 

“So… You sounded great back there.” Jinsol internally scolds herself for starting with ‘so…’. She wanted to seem nonchalant, and cool but now she’s afraid she made it clearly awkward. 

“I’d hope so,” Jinsol raises a brow to Jungeun’s answer, hoping the curious expression on her face was plain to see so Jungeun can further elaborate. 

Jungeun does a quick side eye at Jinsol’s face as she places the bottle of soju back on the bar after pouring Jinsol’s shot, “There was a period of time when I went out to karaoke with Yerim a lot. That was my go-to karaoke song back then, so I’ve gotten pretty good at belting it out, don’t you reckon?” Jungeun chuckles to herself and Jinsol has a hard time in distinguishing the type of chuckle it was. _Was there a lace of bitterness to it?_ Jinsol just nods, aware Jungeun was swirling her tongue around her mouth, meaning she still had more to say. 

“I dragged our little baby to so many karaoke sessions that picking that song for me is now an unconscious habit for her,” the younger girl shrugs before downing her shot. Jungeun keeps both hands on the glass as she brings it forth to Jinsol, indicating the older one to pour another and the blonde does so. 

Jinsol clenches her jaw at what Jungeun says, _‘_our_ little baby’_. Back when they were together, Yerim was practically their child, with their group of friends always joking about them being their own little family. 

“It was back when you left.”

Jungeun was bold. Real bold. Jinsol knew this about the younger girl, but it’s been a while since she’s heard her be so blunt so it took her by slight surprise that Jungeun would straight up say what Jinsol already deduced. 

Jinsol hums, buying time since many words were floating around in her mind as she tries to form a sentence to say out loud. 

“I’ve gotten better at small talk since you left. Maybe we should start there before we go where we know it’ll go.”

Jinsol nods, more so to herself than to what Jungeun says and downs her own shot before nodding at the girl next to her to pour her another one, “Right. So, how have you been lately?”

Jungeun nods her lips with pursed lips before answering, “I’m fine, thank you. And yourself?”

Jinsol tries not to outwardly roll her eyes at Jungeun’s answer. She should’ve expected a generic response to a generic question but she’s looking at the clock on the wall and she can’t help but think that time is running out. She has no reason to think it since no girl makes an obvious move to leave anytime soon but there’s still a feeling she can’t shake off. 

“I’m doing fine myself.”

All Jungeun does is nod at Jinsol’s answer as she begins to tap her fingers on the bar, staring at the shot glass in front of her. They can both hear Jiwoo sing another ballad as Sooyoung adds unnecessary backing vocals. Jinsol turns to look at Jungeun, and the blonde knows she’s obvious about it to the point that she’s well aware that Jungeun nods along to Jiwoo’s singing as a way to politely ignore Jinsol’s stare. 

The dragging silence between the two starts to frustrate Jinsol. The blonde tries not to act like a brat despite the fact that Jungeun was the one that suggested to start with small talk yet she’s the one that seems to refuse to talk at all. 

“So… seems like you’ve improved your alcohol intake.”

Jungeun turns her head towards their groups of friends, and Jinsol swears she hears the younger girl mutter, “Thanks to you.” 

The blonde clears her throat as she takes her shot, deciding it was best to pretend that she didn’t hear anything at all. She fills both their glasses up. 

After a beat of silence, Jinsol decides to ask another question off the top of her head, “How are eomma and appa?” 

The older girl brightens up thinking about Jungeun’s family but quickly dims right down after realizing that she stills call Jungeun’s parents as though they were her own. She notices from glancing at Jungeun’s side profile that the younger girl’s brows furrow at her question. 

“They’re fine.”

Jinsol wants to die. 

“How’s university going?”

“Yeah, it’s going.”

Jinsol wants to smash the soju bottle against her head. 

“Do you still swim competitively?”

“No.” 

Now, Jinsol wants to smash Jungeun’s head on the bar. Jinsol wants more information, gradually getting frustrated by Jungeun’s unwillingness to make the conversation flow. 

“No time,” Jungeun adds in delay, almost as if it was an afterthought. Jinsol nods, aware that Jungeun was probably pulling her leg when she told her that she’s gotten better at small talk. At this point, Jinsol begrudgingly decides to let the silence consume the space between them.

She observes Jungeun as the colored lights frames the younger’s face and Jinsol can’t help but feel the urge to run her fingers through Jungeun’s hair. She continues to watch as Jungeun looks down before tilting her head back to swallow her shot and Jinsol instantly forms fists with both her hands as she tries not to loop Jungeun’s stray hairs behind her ear.

Jungeun slamming her shot glass down onto the bar snaps Jinsol out of her thoughts and the blonde locks her jaw, confused at the train of thoughts and urges that just passed through her mind. Jinsol downs her own shot, so sure that the thoughts that surfaced before were just due to habits from their past. 

Jinsol is done. 

She’s not even frustrated anymore. She’s not tired of it either. She’s just accepted it for what it is. Nothing. She’s done with the teething of this whole ‘conversation’, if one could even call it that. 

Jinsol purses her lips and nods to herself. It seems fairly obvious that Jungeun doesn’t want to continue talking to her so Jinsol decides it’s best to just leave it. She takes some cash out of her wallet and places it on the bar between them. It’s more than enough to pay for what they’ve drank, and more than enough for Jungeun to continue drinking until closing time. 

“I should get back to the girls.”

Jinsol bows at Jungeun and winces as she realises her frame of axis has now gone out of tilt, yet she stands up straight, feigning indifference to the alcohol that’s starting to severely affect her body.

She turns around and starts to walk off towards their group of friends when she feels a hand tightly grip onto her wrist. Jinsol’s ears prick up at Jungeun’s soft voice. She shouldn’t have been able to hear what the younger girl says due to the loud music and drunken voices singing off key and over each other, but Jungeun’s voice seems to do this thing where it seems to float through the air in search for one particular pair of ears. Jinsol’s. 

“Stay.”

Jinsol stares blankly at the plain wall just up ahead of her, strobe lights streaming colorful patterns onto it. Anyone watching from afar would assume that Jinsol was simply entranced by the lights melodically dancing along to the music, but they’d be wrong. 

_Stay._

Jungeun’s voice repeating that one-word echoes around Jinsol’s brain to the point she becomes seemingly aware she’s got a pounding headache as the word repeatedly bumps onto the side of her skull. 

It’s the word Jungeun never said when Jinsol broke the news that she got a scholarship abroad.

It’s the word Jungeun never said when Jinsol finally told her decision that she’d accept the scholarship and that she’d be leaving. 

It’s the word Jinsol never knew she wanted to hear from the lips of the younger girl until she heard them, just now. 

Jinsol blinks out of her daze and turns back to look at Jungeun but the younger girl isn’t even looking at her although her hand is still wrapped around her wrist. Jinsol doesn’t know what to do. There’s nothing in her that’s willing her to go back to Jungeun and sit there just to be silently suffocating in an atmosphere not fit for any human being. _Was there a point?_

Jinsol stays paralyzed, rooted in one spot, silently screaming out into the abyss with her mind, asking for God, the universe, any sort of entity that deals with fate to give her a sign what to do, what to say, where to move or just get her to _breathe_. 

Jungeun finally shifts her gaze to Jinsol, well aware the older girl seemed to be staring at her. As the two’s eyes meet, Jinsol sees everything and nothing in hazel irises and finally takes a step. 

Standing in front of Jungeun, purposely blocking everything else out of the younger girl’s view just so she could look at her and only her, Jinsol shamelessly rakes her eyes across Jungeun’s face. The blonde’s jaw tightens as she suddenly recalls how she’d slide her lips down the bridge of the younger girl’s nose just to leave a peck at the tip of it. That memory leads her to a distant memory under her bed sheets where they’d wrestle as Jungeun jokingly fights Jinsol, complaining about how the older girl’s harsh kisses on her nose would cause it to flatten. Ever since then she’d only ever leave the tiniest, softest kisses on Jungeun’s nose. Just fleeting touches with lips that always urged to do more. 

Jinsol’s eyes land on Jungeun’s lips yet her mind seems to know how dangerous of a trigger they were and so her eyes immediately look back up to Jungeun’s. She realises the younger girl seems to be taking in her face too, her eyes glaze with memories shallowly swimming in her pupils. Jinsol, scared of what Jungeun sees in her face, abruptly moves to sit back next to her. 

Jinsol knows one shouldn’t swim in memories as there’s always a chance of being swept up in a current that’ll take you further out than what you always intended. 

Jungeun’s soft voice loosens Jinsol’s jaw.

“Can we just… not talk.”

Jinsol understands that what started off as a question ends as a statement and mentally scoffs at herself at finally realising that that’s what Jungeun wanted from the start. When did she become so out of sync from her? Jinsol from years ago would’ve known straightaway to keep her lips sealed when Jungeun emitted this vibe. 

Jinsol waves down the bartender, brazenly asking for another bottle of soju. She bites her lip, annoyed at herself. She was just so blinded by the need to talk to the younger girl. To get _something_ from her, that she chose to ignore what Jungeun wanted and tried to push through anyway when the signs were obvious. But what did she _want_ from the other girl? Why did she feel the need to talk to her, so bad? 

_Closure_. 

She knows deep down that that’s what she seeks but there’s also a part of her saying she doesn’t need it since she _is_ over her. Jinsol’s fingers drums impatiently on the bar and it’s moments like these that she hates that she’s her own therapist. The guy places another bottle and Jinsol immediately pours them both shots, more liquid making it onto the bar surface than the actual glasses. 

Minutes go by and the silence between them is light, unlike before. It’s refreshing and it comes with a sense of familiarity that doesn’t... hurt. It’s nice and it feels like coming home from a long day and lying down on the couch with your favorite person doing and saying absolutely nothing. The thing is, they’re at a karaoke bar full of drunk strangers singing their hearts out and the lights are enough to give someone a seizure and the noise is loud enough to leave one’s ears ringing in the morning but the silence between them encases the two girls in a bubble of quiet intimacy. One word comes to Jinsol’s mind when she feels the feeling she’s thought she’s forgotten. 

_Home_. 

She takes another shot. And so does Jungeun.

Almost ten minutes pass and it’s almost comical how fast they finish the second bottle. Jinsol rapidly blinks as she looks around, looking around for the guy so she can ask for another bottle but what Jungeun says out to the silence between them makes the blonde pause. 

“I’m seeing someone.”

Nothing.

Jinsol feels nothing and she says nothing. She abandons the attempt to flag down the bartender for another bottle and chooses to just sit and lean against the bar to take in what Jungeun had just let out. 

Jinsol purses her lips in thought as she tries to process the new information but there’s this blaring siren that’s wailing inside her mind going ‘I’M DRUNK. SO DRUNK.’ on repeat and she feels the headache from before slowly making a comeback. She shakes her head to shake the feeling and tries to remember what she was trying to process in her mind. 

_Jungeun’s seeing someone. _

She shouldn’t be surprised. In fact, she isn’t. _Of course_ Jungeun is seeing someone. It’s been years since they broke up and Jungeun is an absolute catch. 

“Haseul.”

Jungeun says the name out loud and all Jinsol can do is nod her head once in acknowledgement.

“Haseul,” Jinsol quietly says the name out loud to herself and her mouth feels funny as the sound leaves her lips. 

Haseul. 

Jinsol honestly doesn’t know what to think and feel. This, _Haseul_ doesn’t seem real to Jinsol yet. They’re just a name, and for now, that was enough for Jinsol not to think of Haseul as someone who is a real human being that’s allowed to physically hold Jungeun in between both their arms. Not that Jinsol actually wants to have Jungeun in her arms, it’s just the thought that someone else is able to. It’s the thought that it’s not her anymore.

The thought doesn’t really bother her, but it’s a thought that just lingers in her mind. She’s _over_ Jungeun. She’s accepted that but she’s smart enough to know there’s a difference between acceptance and contentment. 

The air between them is back to being thick and she actually wishes she suffocates for real.

“We should head back,” both girls say at the same time. Both blink as they stare at each other yet decide to ignore the fact they both spoke the same string of words at the same time.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi friends,
> 
> I hope someone squeezes the shit out of you at least once in the next few days and you feel love in between their arms. If not, maybe you can give a hug to someone you care for.
> 
> Once again: Questions, thoughts, feelings and comments are welcome and are incredibly appreciated.
> 
> Until next time, gang.


	4. Chapter 1 Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yerim-ahhhhhh, if there was another word for 'happiness', it would be 'J-'"
> 
> "Ok, Unnie... Let's get you home."

~

Jinsol is drunk out of her mind. She’s sure there’s more alcohol than blood in her veins right now. She also swears she’s died and resurrected three times throughout the course of the night. That’s two times more than Jesus. She’s a God. 

Jinsol reaches over the centre console of her car and squeezes the arm of the person driving. 

“Slower… Please…” The blonde has her eyes closed as she complained earlier about how the city lights seemed to blur her vision, although the two tired bodies in the car knew that Jinsol’s vision was already a blur before she got in the car for the ride home.

“Unnie, I’m already driving as slow as I can. You’re lucky it’s half past 2 in the morning right now and there’s no one else on the road.”

Jinsol grunts. Lucky indeed. She’s lucky Hyunjin offered to drive Jinsol if she wanted to drink at karaoke. The younger one decided that out of the two of them, Jinsol would be the one that needed to get drunk the most and so she only had a couple of beers during the night. 

The blonde groans at the turn Hyunjin just made, “You knew, didn’t you?” 

Her hand grips tighter onto Hyunjin’s arm as she feels another turn. _Was she even wearing a seatbelt? _She couldn’t feel herself strapped in. She just felt numb. 

“About?” Hyunjin knew exactly what her friend was asking her about, but she needed to keep Jinsol awake until she got her back home, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to lift a totally unconscious Jinsol out of the car. 

“Haseul.”

“Would it have made a difference if it came from me?”

Jinsol opens one eye and tries to land her eye onto Hyunjin’s figure, “Not really. I’d probably still feel the same.”

“And what do you feel?”

“Nothing.”

“Good.”

Jinsol had always loved Hyunjin’s bluntness. If Hyunjin talked like this to anyone else, they’d feel offended and like they weren't listened to. But Hyunjin understands her and speaks Jinsol’s language. 

Hyunjin was incredibly smart. She knew that feeling ‘nothing’ was still feeling ‘something’ and that was something Jinsol knew too. And that ‘something’ would be what they figure out together once they had time to have a proper conversation one on one.

As the car comes to a rolling stop at Jinsol’s new apartment, for a split second, sobriety hits Jinsol on the back of her neck. Her throat feels dry and the need to swallow is so strong but there’s nothing to swallow down. 

“Hyun… I need you.”

“I know. I won’t leave you.”

The tears spill out as the words Hyunjin says registers in Jinsol’s mind and she finally lets herself break down. She’s not sad, or heart broken. She’s just… tired. 

They both sit, Hyunjin letting Jinsol cry it out for a little while. Minutes go by and Jinsol suddenly hears the car door open then close before the sound of footsteps on gravel. The blonde has her eyes closed tight. So tight that all she sees is static behind her eyes and before she knows it, she feels a body over hers. She moves forward and clings to it.

“Hold on Unnie… You’re going to strangle yourself to death, let me get your seatbelt off first.”

“Wait!”

Hyunjin looks at Jinsol in slight panic. She looks onto big eyes as Jinsol seems to be wide awake at that moment and Hyunjin honestly stands in shock at the sudden 180 turn her friend just did. Whatever it is, it must be serious but Hyunjin’s already undone her seatbelt, so she does what she thinks Jinsol wants her to do - she silently buckles Jinsol’s seatbelt back in. 

“Ok, now what?”

Jinsol shakes her head and removes the seatbelt herself. 

“Oh my God, are you serious… You-”

“No, it’s not about the seatbelt!”

The two stares at each other in silence before Hyunijn heaves a massive sigh, tired at waiting for Jinsol to explain, “Unnie, if it’s not about the seatbelt, then you’re going to have to specify what it’s about… I’m tired and I want to go to sleep.”

Jinsol places her phone onto Hyunjin’s hands, “Can you text Jungeun for me? I don’t think my thumbs will listen to my brain.”

One eyebrow of Hyunjin’s raises up, “Depends on what you want to text her…”

“Tell her I want to meet Haseul one day.”

Hyunjin places Jinsol’s phone back onto the blonde’s lap, “Just text her yourself tomorrow. It’ll probably be better… You know, since you’ll be sober.” 

“No! This is the perfect time! C’mon, you know it is…”

Hyunjin stares at Jinsol, waiting to catch her friend out on her bluff, “I don’t want you to wake up regretting stuff tomorrow morning…”

The blonde pushes her phone into her friend’s stomach, “You _know_ I won’t regret it.” And Hyunjin sighs for the hundredth time that night because she knows all too well that Jinsol actually wouldn’t regret anything in the morning. 

Jinsol whines, pouting at her younger friend, “You and I both know there’s just something about texts that are sent between 1 and 4 in the morning.”

Hyunjin purses her lips, and Jinsol can tell she’s got her friend caught, “Yeah, alright,” Jinsol beams at her in triumph, “But first, we’re going inside and getting in bed. We need to be warm and comfy.”

“What would I do without you, Hyun?”

~

“Has she replied yet?” 

It’s the morning after and Jinsol actually does have one regret. She wishes she didn’t drink as much as she did. Her body just can’t take alcohol as good as it did a few years ago. 

“I don’t even know Hyun… I literally just finished vomiting the rest of last night’s dinner. I really thought I got it all out before I passed out.”

“You know.... There was a point where I thought you were just going to die because it literally sounded like you were. There was a split second where I made the decision that if you _did _die, I’d just leave your body hunched over the toilet and flee the scene.”

Jinsol groans as Hyunjin hands her a cup of warm tea, “I wish I did… This headache is a killer.” 

Both girls drink their tea in comfortable silence, before they hear a phone ring from inside Jinsol’s bedroom. 

The blonde almost spills her full cup of tea all over her kitchen tiles from the unsuspected noise. A few drops did make it to the floor though and Jinsol nods her head towards her room for Hyunjin to deal with the call as she goes to find the paper towels she just bought to wipe up the small spillage. 

A few quick seconds pass before Hyunjin walks back in the kitchen, both of their phones in each hand, seeing Jinsol wince as she gets up from the floor after wiping up the tea.

“So?”

“Nothing.”

“Ok,” Jinsol searches through her cupboards, trying to find where her mother placed the pots, “It really did sound like nothing. You declined the call, didn’t you?”

“Yep.”

“Ok.”

Jinsol knows not to pry, silently grabbing two small pots and placing them on her stove. She knows Hyunjin well enough that the younger girl would tell her in a coupl- 

“It was Heejin.”

Jinsol purses her lips as she nods in understanding. She looks back at Hyunjin to ask her to boil some water as she tries to find the ramen through the grocery bags she left on the bench yesterday afternoon but Hyunjin’s zoning out, looking at her phone but not really looking at it either. 

“Hyun? Hyun...” Jinsol walks to her friend and slowly takes the phone out of her hands, while taking her own phone from the other hand, “Can you please boil the water while I dig out the ramen?”

The younger of the two says nothing as she immediately pushes herself off the wall she was leaning on to do what Jinsol asks. Meanwhile Jinsol finally opens her phone.

MESSAGES 37m ago

**Jungeiunn**

How about today?

Jinsol swipes right at the notification. 

**Jungeiunn**

**Today** 3:16 am

Hey, it's Jinsol

Thanks for giving me your number btw

We should go out for a bite somewhere

You should bring Haseul too

It’d be nice

**Today **9:42 am

How about today?

Jinsol snorts at the ‘**Jungeiunn’** that she saved the girl as, in her contact list**.** She’s surprised she even saved Jungeun’s number right, but then again, she double, no, she _triple checked_ to make sure they were the right digits. 

She lets out another snort as she rereads the texts sent from her side. Hyunjin and her both sent a line each, both deciding there’d be no point in trying to craft a loaded message when there shouldn’t be anything loaded to begin with. Jinsol and Jungeun were nothing now. They should be texting without any hidden agendas behind texts. 

Jinsol quickly looks around her bare apartment and the few boxes that still need to be unpacked before shrugging her shoulders.

**Today **10:22 am

Sure

Just name a time and place

Hope you don’t mind but Hyunjin will be tagging along

It’s a double date then

We’ll go for lunch

1:30pm at our usual spot for kbbq

Easy

“The water’s boiled.”

“Right,” Jinsol looks up from her phone to see Hyunjin looking at her expectedly, “Let me just grab the ramen.”

“So… What’s the go?”

“Well… You know how you said you’d help me unpack the rest of my stuff today?” The blonde hears her friend groan as she finally pulls two packets out of a bag, “I’m treating you to lunch today too…”

“As expected, that was my chosen payment for helping you… But why do I sense that there’s something more to it?”

Jinsol scoffs, “There really isn’t…” she turns around as she cracks the noodles in both packets of ramen in half, “Just that… We’ll be having lunch with Jungeun and Haseul.”

Hyunjin groans out loud, draping herself dramatically over Jinsol’s kitchen bench, “Maybe just cook one packet. I want to starve myself until it’s lunch time so all I’ll be doing then is stuffing my mouth with food,” Hyunjin raises her head and rests it on her hand, “Oh damn, I guess I probably wouldn’t even be able to talk during lunch…” The lace of sarcasm in Hyunjin’s tone not lost in Jinsol’s ears, “Like, _at all_. There’d just be too much food in my mouth. I guess I’ll just be there, doing what I do best. Eating. And observing.”

Jinsol opens the two packets anyway and places a packet in each pot, “Not happening. You’re going to talk. Even if it’s just complaints about the amount of lettuce they give us.”

“Lettuce… That means we’re going to _that_ barbecue place that’s so stingy with their lettuce! Damn it… Is helping you unpack really worth it?”

“Shut up and find where eomma placed the chopsticks. Check the drawers on your side.”

Hyunjin lets out a childish whinge as she goes to open the drawers, “You should let it all out now… Your thoughts, feelings, questions, ideas, expectations, whatever. Better now than mid-way through lunch and we’ve suddenly got to leave because someone’s embarrassed and I haven’t even finished stuffing my stomach yet.”

Jinsol hums as she tears the vegetable flake packets, releasing the contents in the pots, “I need questions to go off on. Ask me stuff.”

“Are you actually over her?” Hyunjin boldly dives into the deep end with that question as she offers a pair of chopsticks to the blonde as she moves back to lean against the kitchen bench.

“I… I really thought I was. But just… seeing her last night and having to breathe the same air as her, it brought back lots of memories. And feelings. Like… I kind of decided I was over her ages ago but when I do certain things or hear a certain song or see something familiar, I’m slightly aware that there’s residual feelings that still lingers around. I know the two contradict each other but that’s what I thought and what I felt…”

After pouring the boiled water in the pots, Jinsol absently looks at the pots of ramen in front of her as she stirs them with chopsticks. Hyunjin starts drumming her fingers on the kitchen bench and the sound quickly pulls Jinsol out of her mind. She places the chopsticks down before turning around to look at Hyunjin, “Can you be over someone even though there’s still ‘feelings’ there?”

The two stares at each other as the younger one raises an eyebrow, an indication that she’s about to voice her thoughts but Jinsol beats her in breaking the silence, “I mean… I’m well aware that the ‘feelings’ that are still there are irrational too. They’re phantom feelings, I think. They’re so used to being there that when they left, my mind couldn’t take it so it gave the feeling that I’m still attached… Is that even a thing? Ugh, am I even making sense?”

“It’s what you feel, so… Yeah, it is a thing.” Hyunjin cracks her knuckles before pushing herself up to sit on the kitchen bench, “But… I think it’s a thing _because_ you never got closure. You both just… let it be. You both left your relationship with a question mark and not a full stop.” Hyunjin nods to her statement as if it was a scientific fact. A second goes by before she scrunches up her face and shakes her head, “Actually, not a question mark. You both pulled an ellipses. You left it at a ‘to be continued’ because both of you girls have always been selfish when it comes to the other.”

Jinsol frowns at Hyunjin’s comment, “You’re annoying.”

“And also right. Tell me again, what the last thing she said to you was?” Hyunjin asks, knowing full well what the answer was. 

Jinsol breathes a long breath out with her eyes closed, already tired with repeating the same sentence she hears in her mind from time to time, “I’ll be where I’ll be, love me if you want._”_

Hyunjin scoffs at the line, “She’s a bitch for saying that. I know it and _you_ know it. Jungeun’s always been pretentious.” 

“Watch yourself.”

Hyunjin shrugs, “I’m right.”

The blonde’s jaw tightens because Hyunjin _was _right. Jungeun left Jinsol with the final decision on their relationship because she didn’t want to do any of the dirty work. 

“I don’t think you’re over her. You’re almost there though. One day she’s gonna say something or you’re gonna see something and then your brain is gonna be like, ‘.............’” Hyunjin makes sure to let the silence linger for a while, “and then boom. You’re done.”

“I get you... but I don’t.”

“You’ll know when _it _happens.”

“I swear _it_’s ‘happened’ like 7 times now.”

“That’s cause you will anything to be _it_ even when it isn’t.”

“You’re annoying.”

“And also right.”

~

They should’ve gotten coffee. Jinsol doesn’t even drink coffee but it’d be better than a sit-down meal because now she has to watch Jungeun _be_ with Haseul. More so than what a short coffee catch up would be. 

Hyunjin was right and the tiny voice in the back of her mind was right. She wasn’t really over Jungeun. Not if her jaw was getting a workout over tensing up so much instead of chewing the actual food in front of her. Thankfully Hyunjin was next to her since Jinsol desperately needed an anchor to hold her down before she decides to just up and leave. The itching need to just leave makes Jinsol realise she was good at leaving. Out of sight, out of mind. Kind of. Much like how she chose to gradually stop contacting her friends when she moved abroad just so she won’t miss them too much. There wasn’t much logic to it, but with the little logic there, that was enough for Jinsol. 

Despite the urge to leave, she stays stuck to her seat. She knows she needs closure. It’s weird that seeing Jungeun with Haseul was the first blow. It really made her realise that there _was_ a part of her that wanted to rekindle their past relationship. She really thought she didn’t want to go back there again but seeing their hands clasped around each other, a tiny part of Jinsol wept. 

When she first sees Haseul, she sees someone who just glows naturally from within. It’s the eyes. It’s the smile. It’s the way she tucks her hair behind her small ear and Jinsol keeps her jaws locked because Jungeun sure as hell picks the good ones. Jinsol also knows that Jungeun wouldn’t let someone into their circle of friends unless they’re in it for the long run. 

Jungeun really moved on. 

She really shouldn’t be surprised. She isn’t. She’s just… tired. 

She swears she’s gone through this thought process before. 

Jinsol feels Hyunjin’s cool hand on the back of her neck, massaging it. It’s an intimate gesture that’ll definitely be taken the wrong way by the two girls in front of them but Jinsol’s glad her friend is there to soothe her. 

When they first get seated, it’s clear that no one on the table is comfortable. At least in Jinsol’s mind. But Haseul smiles through the thick air, and just like that, her perfect, straight, white teeth cut through the tension as she says, “Hi. It’s nice to finally meet the famous Jung Jinsol. I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“Hello. It’s only been a few seconds, but it’s already been an absolute pleasure to meet you, Haseul.”

And just like that, casual talk naturally takes place as Haseul and Jinsol exchange personal facts about each other. 

Hyunjin stays quiet throughout lunch, keeping watch over the food since she’s the one on cooking duty. She even stays quiet about the amount of lettuce they received. She listens to the friendly verbal tennis match between the two as they both try and subtly learn about the qualities in each other that Jungeun fell for. It’s a discreet competition, and one with no malice intent but Hyunjin stays alert, ready to swoop in if Jinsol needs her. Hyunjin finds it interesting how both girls seem to just show appreciation of the other for making Jungeun happy. Both were whipped for Jungeun. Hyunjin tries not to physically roll her eyes. 

It’s been over half an hour; they’ve eaten most of the food and Jinsol comes to the conclusion that Haseul is incredibly likeable. She’s warm, expressive, and ultimately, charming. It’s clear to Jinsol how Jungeun would want to be with her. There’s literally nothing to dislike about the girl. 

Except that she was with the girl that Jinsol wished to be with. 

Jinsol really didn’t know that it’d hurt to watch Jungeun’s eyes sparkle in adoration as Haseul spoke, until she sees it. 

Jinsol subtly places her right hand on Hyunjin’s left knee under the table and squeezes. 

“Ah. We have to go. Jinsol unnie has to start packing her bags… again. We literally _just_ unpacked but she’s got a flight to catch soon.”

Jinsol almost gets whiplash from how fast Jungeun’s eyes snap to her. She instantly feels the need to elaborate. An old habit that’s still ingrained in her when Jungeun looks at her that way, “Jeju. My parents thought a family trip is well needed. You know it’s been awhile for us.”

Jinsol sees something shift in Jungeun’s eyes. Relief? Jinsol ignores it. She doesn’t want to read into things anymore. It’s over. 

Jinsol still has lingering feelings but at least she can start getting over them since she’s finally accepted that she’s definitely not getting back with Jungeun. It’ll be a short trip, but it’ll be a good distraction. It’ll give her time to reflect. She knew getting over feelings took time and reflection. 

They say their farewells and it takes Hyunjin’s tight grip on her forearm for Jinsol to snap out of her daze as they walk back to Jinsol’s car. 

“So… What’s going on in that mind of yours?”

“I think… I’m going to be ok.”

“Nice. Let’s go get drunk.”

“It’s not even 5pm yet and I still need to pack.”

“Time is a concept, it’s not real. And you can pack tomorrow… You don’t leave until late tomorrow night anyway. Plus, you owe me since I couldn’t get blind drunk last night. I think I deserve a couple drinks after fourth wheeling today.”

“You’re annoying.”

“And also right.”

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be kind to yourself. And others.


	5. Chapter 1 Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The end of the world has brown eyes."
> 
> "There's a lot of people with brown eyes Unnie... You and m-"
> 
> "You'll understand what I'm saying one day Yerim-ah...... It's been a month and it still hurts and-"
> 
> "Yeah well... Sometimes the world ending takes time, unnie."
> 
> "What am I supposed to do in the mean time?"
> 
> "...Get over it."

~

_Are you healed or are you distracted?_

Jinsol’s family trip to Jeju was definitely well needed. Spending time with her parents and talking to them about anything and everything really put things in perspective for her. They asked her questions she never thought about asking herself, causing her to bring up answers to thoughts and feelings that always confused her. 

She’s still not completely over Jungeun but admitting that there was still hope in her heart was a start, because now she can work on letting that hope go. 

She was sad. It’s something that couldn’t be helped. Her mother told her so. 

She was sad and yet she was glad. She’s letting it hurt, for real this time, because brushing everything under the rug doesn’t actually make things go away. It just makes a lump on the floor, waiting for a fool to trip over it. 

The coming Friday that Jinsol got back from her trip, Jiwoo and Sooyoung decided to have a casual get together. Jinsol wishes she had said no to coming. She wishes she had said that she was tired, that she was exhausted. But the heart does this thing where it wants to see the object of its affection, even if it hurts. The heart wants what it wants, after all. 

So, there she was, a drink in hand and a determination to keep her eyes on her group of friends drinking and laughing instead of the couple huddled together on the couch. Jinsol refused to let Jungeun see that she was hurting. After all, she was supposed to be over her since they broke up years ago. It’d be pathetic to be hung up on someone for so long. She didn’t want Jungeun thinking she had that power over her. It’d be embarrassing, especially since she was seeing someone else. 

The blonde was also intent on not letting any of her friends know, except for Hyunjin and maybe Sooyoung. Maybe. She just didn’t want or need anyone’s pity. 

Sooyoung quickly strides toward Jinsol, and the blonde eyes the shot glass in her best friend’s hand, with a bottle of hard liquor in the other.

“Sol, Yerim rolled the dice and guess who she chose for The BFK?”

Jinsol wets her lips with the tip of her tongue as she scoffs. She definitely did not miss doing BFKs. It was something she invented years ago when her and Sooyoung drank heavily with their Uni friends. 

You said a number out loud from 1-6 and rolled the dice. If it doesn’t land on your number, you take a shot but if it does... you got to choose anyone in attendance to do The BFK. It was 5 shots of any hard liquor, full to the brim. In a row. 

If you vomited halfway through taking the shots, you still had to finish it off once you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. You weren’t allowed to say no. There were restrictions of course to who could do it and when, but as Sooyoung eyes Jinsol’s eyes she knew the blonde was in the right frame of mind to do it. 

The BFK. The Best Friend’s Kiss. 

It was supposed to fuck you up. 

That’s why Jinsol named it that. 

At first nobody but Sooyoung understood the name. Jinsol had to explain then that _“Sure, you can kiss anyone, but it doesn’t really have a certain power over you. Kissing just anyone lacks weight, majority of the time. It’s all spit and tongue and no tingles and shivers. But… if you kiss someone you’re in love with, and there’s nothing definitive between you, it just fucks you up because you get a taste of what’d it be like to actually be with them.” _

After Jinsol explained, there was a small pause of silence with no one in the group looking each other in the eye. Most eyes were glazed in thought of a certain someone they had in mind. 

In that tiny moment, it was clear that the “Best Friend” part of the title was readily accepted between the group. Majority of Jinsol’s friends - at least back then - were in love with their best friend. 

“So, you want them standing up or sitting down?” Sooyoung asks with a smirk. 

“Hold on… Is there proof she rolled it and got her number? I wasn’t planning on getting smashed at 7 tonight.”

Her friend’s mouth splits in that classic Sooyoung style - the smile that comes out when she knows that she’s going to get what she wants. It’s a wide smile that showcases all her teeth, in particular her rabbit teeth, and her eyes have got mischief trapped in its irises. With this all familiar sight, Jinsol knows Yerim really fucked her over with this one. 

“You can check Chaewon’s Instagram story… She posted the roll of the century. The dice bounced into the shot glass that was full of the vodka Yerim was supposed to take if she didn’t get her number. Smack bang, right in the glass... was the number 1,” Sooyoung laughs as she shakes her head, “she took the shot anyway.”

Jinsol laughs along with her as she imagines the scene, “Of course she did, Yerimie gets too excited like that.”

“So, up or down?”

“I think I’m gonna need to sit for this one. And pass me the dice.”

~

“You should slow down there…”

She shrugs in response to Hyunjin, who’s just sat down next to her on one of the stools at the kitchen bench. She’s nervous and she’s hoping that more alcohol in her system eases the nerves that’s jumping around inside her. She takes another swig of the mixed drink she let Hyejoo mix her and swallowing it doesn’t seem as difficult anymore. 

“And you suck for giving me the BFK before… I’ve been drinking tonnes of water to sober up. You know how many times I’ve had to go pee for the last 20 minutes? _Too_ much. I really broke the seal 30 minutes into drinking tonight...”

Jinsol rolls her eyes at the younger girl, “Just keep drinking Hyun. Why are you so scared to get absolutely sloshed tonight? Just let it all out.”

“Do you even remember what Sooyoung poured for my shots?”

The blonde squints her eyes in thought because honestly, her mind’s had trouble trying to form memories after she did her own BFK. Hyunjin sighs as she grabs the drink off Jinsol’s hand and swallows a big gulp before answering her own question, “Tequila,”

The blonde bursts out in laughter, but it abruptly stops when Hyunjin continues, “Gold, not silver.”

“Yikes. Good luck Hyun. I’ll give you money if you don’t cry by the end of the night.”

“I hate you.”

Both knew that when either of them consumed brown tequila, they’d end up crying over something or someone. White tequila was fine but brown… Whatever they put in that stuff was absolutely not right. 

“Pass me your phone.”

Jinsol drops it at Hyunjin’s lap before grabbing her drink back. The younger one easily gets in as both Hyunjin and Jinsol don’t have a passcode to their phones. It was their own attempt at transparency because they were both naturally guarded and hard to read.

“Whatchu doing?” The blonde asks before closing her eyes. 

“Hmmm….” Jinsol eyes prick up to the sound of the constant rhythm of Hyunjin’s thumb swiping on her phone, “Seeing if there’s anyone here worth...” Hyunjin goes on mumbling to herself. 

Jinsol opens her right eyelid slowly, “There won’t be. I stopped talking to mostly everyone back home when I left.”

“Surely there’s someone… A 97 liner too… Mmm…” Hyunjin whispers to herself.

“Just shoot a message in the 97 group chat then.”

Hyunjin’s eyebrows raise up high as she slaps Jinsol’s knee, “Perfect.”

Jinsol then opens both her eyes to keep her eyes on Sooyoung to see her reaction. If Hyunjin sent something in that group chat, Sooyoung would be sure to see it since it’s just a chat full of a couple of their friends from their graduating class from Uni. 

She watches as Sooyoung pats her right ass cheek before pulling out her phone. She’s got an eyebrow raised before she moves her head to look for a certain someone. When Sooyoung’s eyes meet Jinsol’s, the brunette cocks her head slightly to the side as if to say, “?”

Jinsol just points her head to Hyunjin, who was sitting to her left and Sooyoung lets out a chuckle. 

“What’d you end up sending?” Jinsol wasn’t too worried about what Hyunjin was up to. Jinsol just didn’t care anymore. Whatever happens, happens. Plus, she trusted the younger girl. 

“I just asked if any one of them was going out next Saturday night… And ooooh, someone replied and… Ah, it’s just Sooyoung unnie.”

“What’d she say?”

“She said, ‘I better see all you bitches out next Saturday night.’”

Jinsol laughs as she watches Sooyoung take another shot from afar. 

Her laugh dies down though as her eyes accidentally catch the sight of Jungeun and Haseul who were still on the couch. 

Watching the two interact so easily Jinsol can’t help but let her mind run wild with thoughts and questions. Her eyes trace Jungeun’s lips, which is singing along to the song that’s currently playing and Jinsol suddenly wonders if the younger girl still listens to the songs they used to sing together. Within a couple seconds her mind switches up the thought and it immediately enters the danger zone, because now she’s thinking if Jungeun ever missed her in her bed. 

She then goes on to wonder if she ever missed the way they talked all night. As Haseul places a hand on Jungeun’s shoulder, Jinsol has this sudden urge to grab Jungeun by the shoulders. She wants to shake her. Shake out all the answers she wants right now. She wants to shake out the truth as she asks Jungeun if she thinks Haseul is the one or if she’s just pretending. When Haseul tells her she loves her, does Jungeun imagine it’s Jinsol saying it instead? 

Jinsol takes a sip of her drink in one hand as the other fingers the necklace she’s wearing. She’s still got the younger girl’s initials around her neck and Jinsol tightens her jaw as she swallows the liquid poison down her throat, thinking about how the pendent she holds is one of a kind. _Does Haseul have one yet?_

Jinsol knows she shouldn’t even be wearing the necklace still. Especially since she’s now actively in the process of getting over the other girl. She also knows she shouldn’t be thinking about all the things that have crossed her mind within the past five minutes, but she can’t seem to shift her gaze away from the two, no matter how hard she wants to. And she _really_ wants to because it _hurts_. 

Jinsol’s face stays emotionless. Her expression seems like she’s actually over the night but only her close friends would know that she’s fine just by looking over at the index finger of her right hand. If she’s tapping it to the beat of the song playing out loud, she’s fine but if she’s turning the ring on that finger with her thumb, she’s definitely over the scene. 

Jinsol always played it cool, especially if she was seeing something that would hurt her.

Looking at Jungeun, she keeps a blank face to act as if Haseul being so close to her had no effect on Jinsol. But the blonde’s consciously piercing her gaze at Jungeun, wishing that the younger girl would focus on her instead of the girl next to her. 

_This is pathetic, _she thinks. 

“I hate feeling like people are getting bored of me.” Jinsol says out of the blue. 

Hyunjin grabs the drink back from Jinsol’s hand and takes another drink from it, “You’re not here to entertain anybody.”

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi friends,
> 
> Our favorite girls are coming back with a lead single in like 2 days... As Orbits, let's support them! 
> 
> This is a fairly short update... Next one may or may not be a long one. Please anticipate!
> 
> Once again: Questions, thoughts, feelings and comments are welcome and are appreciated. I do like reading what you all comment!
> 
> Until next time :)


	6. Chapter 1 Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yerim-ahh... I miss her in between every heartbeat. I don't like this feeling anymore... It stopped being poetic a while ago."
> 
> "Jungeun Unnie... I-"
> 
> "No, it's ok... I think I've done enough for tonight... Let's just go home."

~

Jinsol always hated this club just for the sole reason that once you paid for entry, you’re met with a set of stairs. Stairs on any usual day isn’t much of a problem but when you’re drunk on a Saturday night it becomes quite an obstacle. Jinsol swears the club owners did this on purpose. A test, most likely, to see who was sober enough to make it into the actual club. It was cruel she thought, especially since once you see the stairs, you’ve already paid money to get in. And if you fail the stairs test, you get no refund. It was actually pretty smart from a business standpoint. Probably. But Jinsol hated business. That’s why she chose to get into science.

“Yerimie, you need me to hold you steady?” The blonde holds up her arm, ready for her younger friend to grab hold of it. 

Jinsol turns to her side to see Yerim roll her eyes before laughing at Jinsol’s gesture, both of them thinking back on the memory of why Jinsol was asking in the first place. 

When Yerim turned the legal age they all decided to go to this club for Yerim’s first, but with the amount of alcohol the younger one had consumed, she couldn’t even make it up the stairs. They ended up going to another club that night and returned to this particular club the weekend after. Yerim was also drunk that time, but not enough to not be able to conquer the infamous hike up the stairs.

Jinsol will never forget the moment Yerim made it to the top: the sight of the brunette’s eyes squinted almost shut by the massive smile that took over her face, both arms up in celebration of her achievement. Jinsol still has that photo of Yerim on her phone. 

“Sure, Unnie.”

Yerim lets go of her hold on Hyejoo’s arm before latching onto Jinsol’s. Yerim wasn’t that drunk but it became a tradition they did everytime they frequented this club - back before Jinsol left. The only difference between now and then was that Jungeun was on Yerim’s other side lending her arm too.

“I’m surprised you made it out tonight Unnie, with all the alcohol you’ve drank at pres back at your apartment.” Yerim squeezes Jinsol’s arm halfway up the stairs; the same spot she had to declare defeat the first time she entered the club. They both share a tiny smile as they pass that step.

“Yeah well, Hyunjin and I decided to use the last hour and a half to sober up enough to get in the club. Almost drowned ourselves in water with how much we drank. Plus, stuffing our faces with fried chicken helped too.”

“You’re that keen on going out, Unnie?” Jinsol looks over at Hyejoo to answer her question but bites her lip to stop herself from laughing at the younger’s disinterested face. Hyejoo clearly hated going out clubbing. But if Yerim went, she was there. 

“This’ll be my first time back out since I’ve come home. And, I knew everyone else was going. I’ve missed you all. I want to continue making memories with you guys. I’ve got a lot of space to fill in your brains. I want me in there.” Jinsol playfully bumps her head against Yerim’s. 

“Let’s go ladies!” Heejin cheers as she powers through in between Yerim and Hyejoo, pulling a reluctant Hyunjin behind her, their hands clasped together. 

“Last one to touch the left stage speaker on the D floor shouts a round of shots!” Heejin says as she pulls Hyunjin with her through the doors at the top of the stairs.

“Jyu baby, I’m so sorry!” The blonde hears a panicked Sooyoung before she feels her best friend break Yerim’s hold on her arm just to make a pathway for herself to speed up the stairs. 

Jinsol laughs as she watches Sooyoung make her way to where Heejin and Hyunjin would be before looking down behind her to see an unimpressed Jiwoo. 

~

“Thanks for the shot Soo.”

“No worries…” 

Jiwoo had got to the speaker last. On purpose. 

The innocent grin Jiwoo had while she was ordering a round of shots at the bar was a stark contrast to the glum look on Sooyoung’s face. It wasn’t until Jinsol was alone with Sooyoung, did her best friend tell her that she had given Jiwoo her purse to hold onto for the night. 

Jinsol and Sooyoung were at a booth on the far corner of the club, waiting for their group of uni friends while the others were enjoying the music playing. Jinsol easily swallows her shot while Sooyoung sullenly takes the shot in front of her but doesn’t swallow, her cheeks blown up full of alcohol. Her and Jinsol stare at one another in complete silence before they both lose it and break out in laughter but the alcohol in Sooyoung’s mouth sprays everywhere. 

“What the hell Sol?! That’s money wasted!”

“You should’ve swallowed straight away!” The blonde slaps the table in laughter yet quickly wipes her hand on her thigh, forgetting that it got sprayed Sooyoung’s mouth.

“I was trying to savour it since it’ll be the last shot I have tonight, I can’t afford another one!”

“As if it’ll be your last…You know how the girls are... Watch this table be full of drinks once they get here.”

“Yeah yeah.”

“I was gonna buy a whole tray of shots for the booth... You know, our group’s tradition. But I know you’ll drink most of them before they even get in.”

Sooyoung smiles as she rolls her eyes at Jinsol. 

“But here, finish my drink…” Jinsol pushes the drink she bought just before, in front of Sooyoung, “I asked them to make it double strength.”

The phone on the table lights up and Sooyoung grabs it and wipes off the alcohol on the screen before unlocking it, all while swallowing the purple drink in one go. 

“They said they’ll be here in like 7 minutes.”

“Sweet.”

“Oh, and Jungeun just texted that she’ll be here in 15 to 20.”

“Cool.”

As Sooyoung mentions Jungeun, Jinsol for once feels fine. The blonde’s been spending the past week with one on ones with her friends. Reminiscing about the past while making new memories had been sobering for Jinsol. She’s slowly relearning to put more emphasis on her relationships with the people from home. Jinsol had always been one to value the connections she had with the people she held close to her heart, but after leaving home, she had gotten used to the convenience of collecting friends who only just scraped the surface. 

Right at that moment though, she actually felt content. She was out with her friends and she was having a good time. This was a good sign, she thinks. For the first time she felt relaxed, with no cares, worries and stress. This is what she should’ve been feeling after graduating. She was done. She was free. It was a good feeling.

Jungeun was out with Haseul somewhere and said she’d just meet the group at the club. The blonde didn’t even bother to entertain the thought that Jungeun skipped pre drinks with the group because it was at her apartment. Jinsol knew better than to assume that she still had a pull to Jungeun’s actions. Especially since she’s witnessed firsthand how happy Jungeun was with her new girl. 

The music’s quite loud, and the air is thick from the warm bodies occupying the dark space. Even just sitting down in the booth away from the crowd of people, Jinsol feels too hot. She should’ve known that wearing a black, long sleeve crop top would be too much clothing in this particular club, but she didn’t want to bring a jacket since she’d be hardly outside anyway, plus, she didn’t want to pay extra money to put it in the cloak room. A squeeze on her forearm pulls her from her next thought and lips are brought beside her ear as she feels a hot breath down her neck, “Everyone’s excited to see you. Tonight’s gonna be good.”

The music’s loud but it’s not loud enough that it drowns out the voices all the way over at the booths. Sooyoung whispering despite being close means the alcohol is doing round two in the brunette’s system - the first round already ran its course at Jinsol’s apartment during pre-drinks. Sooyoung knows she tends to get loud when she’s drunk, so when she knows the alcohol is taking effect, she’ll start whispering. Everyone knows the whispering tends to only last at least 10 minutes though. 

Jinsol turns her head to look at Sooyoung, who’s already looking back out towards the dance floor. The blonde sees an unimpressed expression on her friend’s face. The blonde knows it’s because the Dj’s turned the music louder now that it’s past 11pm, and Sooyoung hates the fact that she’s not nearly drunk enough to enjoy it yet. 

Jinsol leans closer to Sooyoung’s ear, “I’m excited too. But I'm also kind of nervous.”

Sooyoung leans back to take a look at Jinsol with both her brows scrunched up, a little smirk on her lips, as if to say, ‘Are you serious?’

Jinsol answers the unspoken question, “What if I’ve changed so much that they hate me?”

“You should know better than to think like that Sol. Be yourself otherwise they’ll bully you for being a little bitch.”

Jinsol laughs out loud. Sooyoung was right. 

It’s dark but both girls at the booth instantly notice the sight of a pair of hands sliding into their view. Each hand holding 4 slim shot glasses, a shot glass in between each space between their fingers. As all shots are placed on the table with minor spills, a wide smile spreads on the girl’s face, her tongue out in celebration. 

The girl in front of her is no longer blonde but Jinsol instantly recognises her due to the iconic bangs. Lalisa Manoban. 

“Hell yeah!” Sooyoung shouts in excitement as she reaches for one of the shots, but Lisa quickly stops her from taking one as she slaps the back of Sooyoung’s hand. The music’s loud but Jinsol hears the slap loud and clear. 

“No Sooyoung, you dumb bitch. We have to wait for- JINSOL!”

The blonde quickly stops her giggling to beam at Lisa, glad that the girl hadn’t changed at all. 

“Get your ass up, I want a hug!” 

As the two friends hug and Sooyoung nurses her right hand, Jinsol faintly hears an ‘’excuse me’’ from behind her. With her arms still wrapped around Lisa, she moves them both aside with a step as she eyes a tray full of shots and a few drinks. Looking up at the bearer of drinks, she notes how the girl no longer has chubby cheeks, but a more prominent jawline than when they were younger. And she blinks at the girl’s hair; still dyed, but a certain shade of blonde now. And it was so long. Too long almost. 

A wide grin breaks across Jinsol’s face as she takes in Park Chaeyoung, the resident sunshine of their uni group. And also, the smarter of the two that just arrived, hence the tray. 

Jinsol lets her hug with Lisa end as she quickly wraps her arms around Chaeyoung, “It is so good to see you!” 

Chaeyoung squeezes Jinsol before grinning at her, “Damn, it’s nice to see you home.”

Jinsol’s heart slightly cracks at that. Because it was nice to be home. It really was. 

“Can we pleeeeeease drink now?” A desperate Sooyoung pleads, breaking the moment. 

“Hold on Soo, where’s the others? Honestly, I thought you and Jinsol were Minnie and Miyeon. Min texted me they were already here,” Lisa looks around confused, before squinting at the dancefloor, trying to look for the other girls, “Min said she bought dice.”

“No wonder you told me to _only_ order shots… I thought we all agreed ages ago that we’re not allowed to play BFK at the club… Ya know… After what Yoohyeon did.” Chaeyoung says as she arranges all the shots on the table, Jinsol’s left arm now draped around her shoulders, a familiar form of skinship between the two friends.

Jinsol grimaces at the memory of Yoohyeon while Sooyoung laughs out loud. 

“Look, we should honestly blame Yuju for that. She chose Yoohyeon.” Sooyoung says as she shakes her head, still chuckling.

Lisa frowns at Chaeyoung as the blonde girl sets a few drinks aside on the table, “Why’d you get drinks? I don’t care if they’re vodka redbulls, this is a ‘shots only’ night Chae.”

“Our girlfriends don’t do shots you dumby.”

Before Jinsol can ask Chaeyoung anything more, another tray full of shots make it to their table. Two more girls arrive, Minnie carrying the tray and Miyeon already sipping on a blue drink.Squeals and kisses on cheeks are exchanged between Jinsol and the two before the blonde is draping an arm back around Chaeyoung’s shoulders.

A second after the greetings and Miyeon looks at the table with her mouth slightly parted. With a quick glance, Jinsol roughly estimates there to be at least 50 shots on it, and Jinsol knows Miyeon’s trying to calculate how the night’s going to end by the look on her face. Meanwhile, Minnie’s already started on reorganising the shots with Chaeyoung, a dice in between her teeth with a smile. She’s clearly excited. 

“Glad to have you back Sol! It’s nice to have the Alcoholics Anonymous back together.”

“We never agreed on that name Min.” Lisa says with a pout.

“It’s better than ‘The Mother’s Club of SNU’. This isn’t a support group for stay at home moms Lis,” Minnie replies back, “I swear all we do is drink. And go out for dinner… Which ends up with us drinking anyway.”

“That’s what makes it funny Min!”

Jinsol’s staring at the table full of shots once Chaeyoung and Minnie had finally finished organising the table, “Damn, we’re actually going to die tonight.” Jinsol says.

“Yikes. Raise your hand if you’re scared.” Chaeyoung adds, also staring at the amount of alcohol. 

All girls look around as no one raises their hand and the whole group erupts in loud laughter.  
  
  


“If Yoohyeon was here when you said that Chae, she would’ve had hers up for sure.” Sooyoung says, her and Lisa pushing each other with their forearms as they laugh, clearly still thinking the incident as something hilarious. 

“Her and the others will be here soon. But Jihyo and Mina just texted me saying they won’t make it. They saw the pic Lisa posted of the table and said, “Fuck that!” Chaeyoung said with a chuckle. 

“It’s probably best, those two are part of the lightweights.” Miyeon says as she takes a sip of her drink. 

“Let’s all do a round. You know the rules, the last 3 to get here get to miss out on the first round. Yoohyeon and the rest, sorry not sorry!” Lisa declares. 

Everyone grabs a shot from the table and raises it with Miyeon starting the toast, “Here’s to Sol being back home - we’ve missed you like crazy! The Mothers- wait what did we decide as the group name? Eh, fuck the name. It just hasn’t been the same without you. So tonight, let’s get it lay-deeeeees!” 

Sooyoung lets out a loud whoop as she clinks her glass with everyone, the whole group following. 

“Thanks girls. I love you all.” Jinsol says sincerely, with all girls waiting for her to down the shot before they follow. 

“Jungeun!” They all hear Sooyoung call out, and Jinsol places her empty shot glass in front of her before she looks to where Sooyoung’s looking. And there stands the brunette on the opposite side of the table of where Jinsol’s standing with Chaeyoung. 

“You’ve arrived just in time. Our friends are on the D floor but come hang with us for a bit.”

Jungeun’s eyes slightly widen at the amount of shots on the table and she chuckles. She was Jinsol’s ex-girlfriend after all. She knew how Jinsol and her uni friends drank. 

“A couple drinks won’t hurt.” Jungeun says with a grin before looking around at the group. Jinsol notices how she slightly pauses her gaze at her and Chaeyoung, and the blonde suddenly thinks she should drop her arm from around her friend. But Jinsol decides against it. Jungeun’s thoughts and feelings shouldn’t and doesn’t hold weight to any of Jinsol’s actions anymore. 

Suddenly, Jinsol feels something brush her ribs. She looks to see a girl shorter than both her and the other blonde, wrap their arms around Chaeyoung’s waist and Jinsol quickly takes her arm back from around her friend’s shoulders. The girl has cat-like eyes and looks incredibly chic wearing a classic, little black dress. Jinsol notes how the girl gives her a wary gaze with slanted eyes while she kisses Chaeyoung’s jawline. 

Jinsol quickly realises that it must be Chaeyoung’s girlfriend. Chaeyoung turns her head to give the girl a peck on the lips but the girl pulls Chaeyoung back with her hand behind the blonde’s neck to deepen the kiss. Yep, it’s definitely her girlfriend. 

“Baby stop,” Chaeyoung chuckles, “This is Jinsol, our friend who went abroad. Sol this is-”

“Her girlfriend,” the girl says, finishing Chaeyoung’s sentence, “Nice to meet you.” She says, a slight smile gracing their face. 

“Nice to meet you too.” Jinsol says with a genuine smile. Looking at the other girl’s cheeks, she thinks that maybe that’s where Chaeyoung’s cheeks went. Cute. 

“Hi baby!” Jinsol hears Lisa loudly, and Jinsol looks to her, where a new girl is now sitting on Lisa’s lap. 

“Wow, Jisoo’s drunk already,” Miyeon says, looking at the dreamy face on the girl who was sitting on Lisa. 

“No, I’m not, I’m Jisoo. I’m fine.”

“If she gets kicked out by security, I’m not the one helping her home this time. I ended up throwing out that skirt she puked on,” Miyeon says as she grabs the dice from Minnie, “You know the one… People always compliment my ass when I wear it.” 

“I said I’d pay you for that.”

“It’s been over a month Lis…”

“Yeah yeah… Anyway, let’s play!”

~

It’s been a little bit over an hour since the rest of the girls from Jinsol and Sooyoung’s group of uni friends had arrived at the club, and the blonde thinks if she never left to go abroad, she probably would’ve died too young. And it would’ve been from excessive consumption of alcohol. 

Their table is a mess of spilled alcohol and empty shot glasses, with the booth seats occupied by a mix of her two groups of friends. As the night goes on, half of the total group decides to go back to the D floor to go ride the wave of intoxication from the load of alcohol swimming in their system. Jinsol’s body is totally in the mood for some type of physical activity but her mind is currently in a daze from the several shots of liquid that made it down her throat. That, and the conversation with the girl who’s whispering in her ear is adding the feeling of her body’s craving for another kind of physical activity.

“And so I said to her, ‘If I flipped a coin, what are the chances of me giving you head?’”

The blonde can’t help but find the whole story ridiculous, but she couldn’t stop herself from letting a giggle escape from her lips. Jinsol remembers the girl in front of her as someone who was always so sweet, but a dumbass too. Even back then, they never really hung out much since they didn’t have any classes together but since the girl was close friends with some of the girls in Jinsol’s group, the blonde was used to seeing her at parties; usually watching her do dumb stuff with Sooyoung and Lisa. Back before Jinsol had left, the girl had short, blonde hair. But now she had grown it out. With long, black hair that was soft to the touch, the new hair style made the girl look more mature. Jinsol also noted how it helped make their pointy nose, along with their more defined jawline, more striking. Overall, it morphed their image from a cute girl, to a classier woman. 

“Don’t you ever get sick of talking?” Jinsol whispers back cheekily, her lips caressing the shell of the other’s left ear. 

The blonde feels a hand placed on her inner thigh, not too low but not too high either. It wasn’t a touch that was meant to be soft and light but one that was demanded to be felt. 

“Not when there’s good conversation.” 

Jinsol presses her lips together, clear to the girl she’s talking to that she’s suppressing a smile and a bubble of laughter from her chest, “Hmm, but what if the person who’s listening, is sick of you talking?” She asks, her right eyebrow raised.

The girl with long, dark hair chuckles. Jinsol can’t believe this girl’s laugh never had an effect on her years ago because at that moment, it spikes her heart rate in surprise. The other girl bites her bottom lip before smirking, “Impossible… Do you know that I’m the most well-liked person in the whole world?”

The blonde’s eyebrows shoot up in mock shock before blowing a devastating blow to the girl next to her, “Well _I _don’t like you.”

Kyungwon lets the smirk slide off her face but she smoothly replaces it with a more soft, genuine one.

“You’re not the whole world, Jinsol.”

The blonde chuckles at this, finding her friend incredibly charming with the ease of the flirty conversation flowing between them. More so as Kyungwon’s thumb starts stroking her inner thigh in small circles. Jinsol shakes the daze in her mind before whispering back into their ear, “Your mouth never really knew when to stop Kyung…” 

Jinsol doesn’t even notice how Kyungwon’s hand slowly slides higher as the other girl brings her lips to Jinsol’s right ear, “It _still_ doesn’t know when to stop…” Kyungwon whispers before lightly dragging her nose along Jinsol’s jawline, sniffing the blonde’s skin as it glides down. 

The smooth move causes the nerves down Jinsol’s spine to fire down to her right hip and the blonde actually pulls away from the shock. 

Jinsol quickly stands, her body no longer possessing the power to fight back against the need for something physical to do. 

“Let’s dance?”

Jinsol pulls Kyungwon with her to the D floor, not even bothering to wait for an answer. Her head bops along to the beat the DJ is currently mixing and her hips start to sway in time to the music too as she leads her and Kyungwon to the middle of the crowd. She pulls Kyungwon’s arm from behind her to drape it over her shoulder, letting it rest over her while she still holds her hand. Jinsol continues to look around for a good spot to dance, knowing her ass was basically grinding on the crotch behind it as the floor was so crowded. A squeeze on Jinsol’s shoulder makes her look for the culprit through the dark room, but her eyes didn’t have to search far as they look right into Sooyoung’s mischievous eyes. Looking at who Sooyoung was with, Jinsol realises that most of their friends were with her. A song that Jinsol is very familiar with, starts to play. With Jinsol listening to this song on repeat when it came out a year ago, she instantly notices that the Dj’s put their own twist on it within the first few beats. The beat was slightly changed to fit more with the current club scene, but Jinsol doesn’t mind because she can still sing the lyrics as she dances with Kyungwon.

**I don’t wanna be alone tonight**

**It’s pretty clear that I’m not over you**

**I’m still thinking about the things you do**

**So, I don’t want to be alone tonight**

**Alone tonight, alone tonight**

Jinsol mouths the words as it continues to play, swaying her body to the beat, her head bobbing along to it too. Confident hands pull at Jinsol’s waist, pulling Jinsol closer to them as they trace light kisses that raise the little hairs along the blonde’s neck. 

**Look what you made me do**

**I’m with somebody new**

**Oh baby, baby**

**I’m dancing with a stranger**

Jinsol encourages Kyungwon’s actions, bringing her hand back to pull Kyungwon’s neck, urging her to plant more kisses. Before they know it, the song’s ended and the Dj plays the hoe anthem at the top of the current music charts.

“If I don’t see you slut drop tonight then I know going abroad really changed you!” Sooyoung shouts over the music for Jinsol to hear. Sooyoung’s little quip couldn’t have been said at a better time since a couple seconds later, the bass line of the music drops and Jinsol goes down right at the beat, but not before grinding her ass against Kyungwon’s crotch as she gets back up again. Sooyoung just smirks as she rolls her eyes before she pulls Jiwoo by her waist, closer to her own. 

Kyungwon’s hands instantly grip the side of Jinsol’s hips, pulling her ass even closer to her but instead of light kisses, Kyungwon’s taken to leaving marks. At that moment though, Jinsol curses Sooyoung cause the move she did has fucked up her plane of axis and now she feels a headache coming on. That, and she needs to pee. Bad. 

“Kyung… I just need to go pee.” Jinsol takes a step out of Kyungwon’s grasp but the other girl was quick to place their hands back onto Jinsol. 

“I’ll come with you.”

“No. It’s ok…” Jinsol knows there’s a slight chance that she might end up vomiting once she sees a toilet bowl in front of her, and she didn’t want the other girl to witness it if it were to happen. 

Kyungwon tightens her grip around the blonde’s hips, “You sure?”

Jinsol quickly nods, “I’ll be back.”

“Yeah? Promise me.”

“Promise.”

“Be careful, ok?” 

“Careful Kyung... You’re acting like I’m your whole world.”

Kyungwon doesn’t say anything in reply but moves her head forward to place a kiss on the side of Jinsol’s mouth. It was a power move. It wasn’t overly forward, but it wasn’t subtle either. Jinsol knows the move well, since she’s done it so many times herself. You give them just a little… Just enough… For them to want to come back for more. 

Jinsol makes her way to the toilets, but last minute, decides to go back to the booth for some water. It’s probably stupid to drink water when her bladder’s about to burst but the pounding in her head is getting stronger which is a strong indicator that she’s dehydrated. Twisting open one of the new bottles of water on their booth’s table, her eyes wander at her small group of friends that were occupying the space. One couple catches Jinsol’s eyes in surprise.

Chaeyoung sits in the booth, with her girlfriend straddling her lap as they make out. Jinsol watches, impressed, since her friend was never really one to be bold like that. At least out in the open for the public to see. Jinsol had always known Chaeyoung to be a bit more on the conservative side. _Pulling a girl like the one currently on Chaeyoung would probably change you though_, Jinsol thinks before she goes and swallows more water than necessary. It’s evidently a hot make out session though, as the chic girl on her friend, gyrates her hips into Chaeyoung’s lap, and Jinsol can’t help but groan out loud cause she needs some action soon or else she actually might think she’ll drop dead. 

She eyes her own unfinished drink on the table from before and knows that drinking water would end up being pointless if she just goes ahead and finishes that glass off. She thinks, _fuck it _before downing the pink drink and turns to go to the toilets, but another couple catches her eye. 

Heejin’s got someone up against the wall, her hands wrapped around their neck. Jinsol has no idea who Heejin’s with until she looks at the hands resting on Heejin’s waist. She knows those big ass hands anywhere. They’re comically big, and Jinsol’s been on the receiving end of its slaps when she’s teasing the other girl. Heejin moves her head to whisper into the girl’s ear and Jinsol immediately knows she’s right as she sees Hyunjin’s face pop into view. Her friend looks incredibly tense, jaw locked with furrowed brows. Jinsol decides she’ll have to straight up ask Hyunjin what the hell was going on with them as she starts to speed walk to the toilets. 

~

Jinsol thanks the Gods as she washes her hands. The girls’ toilets had a massive line and she was seriously about to pee herself when one of her bartender friends recognized her in the line. She had let Jinsol use just one of the small private restrooms that the staff of the club used. It wasn’t Jinsol’s first time there since back in the day, usually one of the staff gave her and her friends a spare key card to the restroom to share between them for the night. The blonde had never been more relieved about being a regular at this club. 

Her eyes drift from the toilet, to the tiles, to the sink, and back to the mirror, and the blonde starts to remember all the things that had happened in there. She remembers a particular night where Jiwoo had projectile vomited into that particular toilet bowl. She also remembers the look on Sooyoung’s face when she witnessed all the stuff that came out of Jiwoo’s mouth before quickly making her way to the sink to vomit herself. She thinks of how her and Jungeun would have laughed at the scene if only they weren’t trying to keep from vomiting too since there was nowhere else to actually let it out. 

Jinsol then starts to picture all the unholy things she’s done here with a certain someone before she physically shakes her head to get the images out of her mind.

Throwing the paper towel she dried her hands with into the bin, she opens the door to find someone staring straight at her. Jinsol moves to the side as a way to let the girl in front of her know she can come in to do whatever she needs to do but the girl stays completely rooted to her spot. Seconds of silence between the two passes by and Jinsol’s feeling of confusion starts to turn to her feeling self-conscious. 

“Aren’t you going to use the restroom?”

An unreadable expression stays masked on Jungeun’s face as more seconds of silence tick by before a breathy “Damn you” leaves the younger’s lips. The two words are quick and quiet but Jinsol can easily make them out as they were both so close to each other. 

Jungeun pushes Jinsol’s shoulders lightly, which causes the blonde to step further back inside. The push shocks Jinsol and for the few seconds that she tries to get her bearings together, Jungeun’s already locked the door to the restroom and is pushing Jinsol back against the wall. 

Jinsol is too stunned to register the slight pain in her back and the back of her head as she hits the tiled wall. Jungeun’s face no longer holds a mask of indifference but it now reveals a look of anger. Jinsol recognizes the eyes before her, ones full of fire and pure hatred. Jinsol is now utterly confused. _Did Jungeun really wait till I went to the toilet to go and jump me? And for what? What’d I even do?_ Waking up this morning, Jinsol had no idea that she was going to get bashed at the club tonight. Great.

These thoughts instantly leave her as Jungeun’s lips force itself onto Jinsol’s and the blonde is now in a daze. Their mouths easily fall back into past habits as both pairs of lips part to let each other’s tongues in. Jinsol relaxes into this familiar form of intimacy and closes her eyes. She isn’t sure whether the sweet, alcoholic aftertaste on her tongue belongs to her last drink or the girl that currently has her pinned against the wall. 

Jungeun’s hands make their way to the back of Jinsol’s neck and their kiss deepens. The younger girl’s all too familiar scent has a haunting effect on Jinsol’s senses, and the blonde hums into Jungeun’s mouth as she lets herself drown in her smell. The hum turns into a moan as she feels her tongue being sucked into Jungeun’s lips. The fingers behind her neck tighten and Jinsol knows to open her mouth wider and poke her tongue out longer for Jungeun to suck her in more. This was a fucking porn kiss and Jungeun doing this usually lead to things so sinful that Jinsol quickly grips onto the younger’s hip just to make sure this was actually happening. There’s a tangle of a mess of flutters in the pit of her stomach and a hot ache between her two legs. A second passes and Jinsol opens her eyes as she feels Jungeun push herself away from the blonde. Jungeun quickly pulls Jinsol to the toilet before pushing her to sit on top of the toilet seat. 

The blonde lets out a ragged breath as Jungeun straddles her lap. With lips connected and hips meeting hips, they both fall back into their own well-rehearsed rhythm that they used to play over and over again from a long time ago. One particular hard thrust in just the right-angle causes Jinsol to break the kiss to let out a big breath against Jungeun’s ear. 

“Mm, Jungeun… Just like that…” The blonde breathes out more moans into Jungeun’s ear before kissing down the younger girl’s jawline as Jungeun continues to grind down hard onto Jinsol. 

Jungeun lets out her own series of moans as Jinsol latches her lips onto her neck, sucking on it just the way the younger one likes. Both of Jinsol’s hands hastily squeeze Jungeun’s ass, along while pulling her towards her crotch, helping her grind as her need for friction increases. 

“You like this, mmm?” Jungeun’s lips caressing the shell of her ear is distracting Jinsol from the constant pull of her hair. The throbbing in her head is long forgotten as her mind is overloaded with every nerve on her skin, firing off signals to her brain. 

  
Jinsol’s fingers are no less reckless than Jungeun’s as they ache to explore along with the desire to feel more of the smaller girl’s body. Jinsol slides her hands up under Jungeun’s top, caressing skin before she reaches the base of the brunette’s bra. As her hands trail over Jungeun’s exposed skin, she starts to think how everything just seems like nothing has happened between them. It’s _too_ familiar. She wants more but the sudden sinking feeling at her guts makes her retreat her wandering hands. A sense of clarity suddenly hits Jinsol and a wave of confusion makes it way back into the blonde’s head. That small wave of confusion crashes and Jinsol now feels anger because _WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?_ Jinsol can’t help but think that Jungeun was playing around with her. Just when the younger girl knows she’s done, she pulls Jinsol right back in. Jinsol knows better, and she knows she should stop this. Especially since she just basically gotten over Jungeun. But humans are animals. Her mind has no idea what this means for the two of them but what she definitely knows in that moment of time is that her body wants Jungeun. Bad. In the back of Jinsol’s mind, she knows that once they’re done, she’ll be disgusted with herself. But she can’t help what’s going on because deep down, she’ll take anything she can get from Jungeun. Whether Jungeun wants a relationship or just hot sex, ultimately, Jinsol had ran out of fucks to give. She’s so horny that she’d actually kill anyone who stops her from getting off with Jungeun. That doesn’t stop her from being angry about the situation though. 

_Fuck Jungeun_. 

Literally. And so she presses hot kisses back onto Jungeun’s lips. A few seconds pass and Jinsol pulls away. The blonde feels a sense of accomplishment as she watches Jungeun try to close the gap between them with her eyes still closed. _She definitely wants me just as much as I want her. _Jinsol lets the tiny victory go and dives back into Jungeun’s mouth, deciding that the younger’s lips were too addictive to be without for another second. 

She leaves a peck on Jungeun’s now swollen lips to trace her tongue along the brunette’s neck once again. Sucking and leaving kisses on Jungeun’s neck, Jinsol’s fingers further sink into Jungeun’s skin, urging the younger girl for more. Jungeun senses what Jinsol’s desperate for as she moves back from the blonde to swiftly lift her top overhead. Both pairs of eyes briefly meet, but the small distance between them is soon closed again, too immersed in their own lust. Jinsol eagerly presses open mouth kisses on the now exposed mount above Jungeun’s black, lace bra, eliciting a soft grunt from the girl on top of her.

“Off… I want this off…” Jinsol mumbles as she continues kissing Jungeun’s chest.

Jungeun doesn’t botter unclipping her bra but quickly pulls the cups down to expose her breasts. Jinsol pulls away to look at them, and the blonde silently thanks Jungeun for doing it since the cups bunched at the bottom, squeeze and push the younger girl’s breasts up toward her face. Jungeun still grinds her hips hard onto Jinsol’s crotch as she pulls Jinsol’s neck towards her nipple. Jungeun whines and Jinsol knows exactly what the younger girl wants. She latches her mouth onto her left breast and twirls her tongue around Jungeun’s nipple. The sounds coming from Jungeun’s mouth is turning Jinsol on even more than she already is, and she unconsciously starts buckling her crotch up into Jungeun’s. 

_This is what you want, right?_ Jinsol growls as she gradually gets angrier with the thoughts in her mind getting louder, _Or do you want more?_ Jungeun moans as Jinsol stops kissing to start biting. _You want more, don’t you? Well I’ll fucking give it to you._

Jungeun lets out more whimpers as Jinsol switches her attention onto her other nipple, both girls completely lost in lust. Jinsol’s right hand creeps up Jungeun’s legs and the blonde has never been grateful for the existence of short skirts. Jinsol then starts to rub the warm, wet space in between Jungeun’s legs, just over her thin, laced panties before a loud ringtone blares through the restroom, the sound echoing off the tiled walls. 

The interruption jolts both of them out of their lust induced haze. Their eyes look down to the forgotten phone lying on the floor, which most likely fell from the rush of lust. The phone moves along the floor from the vibrations but both girls can clearly read what’s on the screen because the brightness is at the highest.

_Haseul is calling._

They freeze mid action. And reality hits them both like a truck. 

Jungeun tumbles off of Jinsol’s lap just as fast as she got on it. Jungeun’s back is facing Jinsol, as she quickly fixes her bra and puts her top back on. She picks up her phone and rushes out of the restroom without looking back at Jinsol who was still very hot and bothered. Yet now, she’s also bothered in a completely different way. 

She’s fucking pissed off. 

Still sitting on the toilet, Jinsol runs her hand through her tangled hair, and all she can manage to let out is a long, “Fuck me.” 

She couldn’t believe it. She was left horny and emotionally blue balled at the club toilets. 

Fuck Jungeun. 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi friends, 
> 
> Our girls are coming back in a few days - not long until we can hear what their new stuff sounds like! As orbits let's support them in any way we're able to! I'm excited for this comeback and with this era's teasers (tbh, every teaser they've ever released since the favOriTe teaser), I feel super proud to be a fan of LOONA. A couple weeks ago, BBC stated that LOONA will be an 11 member group for this era and it hurt to read that in the statement, but at least Haseul will be with us in 365. It's OT12 or nothing baby!
> 
> This update is kind of long (honestly could have gone longer too) and I'm not exactly satisfied with my writing in it, but this update is way overdue. Basically a ~month late, so apologies. Hope it's enough for now and it leaves you anticipating the next one hehehe
> 
> Again: Questions, thoughts, feelings and comments are welcome and are appreciated.
> 
> Let's meet again soon - I hope you're happy then too.


	7. Chapter 2 Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aeong.

~

Hyunjin minds her business, but she does pay attention. She eyes the beer in the other girl’s hand. The label’s been uncleanly pulled off the bottle, a small mess of torn and balled up paper lying on the table to her left. She winces as she watches nails scratch at the glass, the other girl attempting to rid of the sticky residue left behind by the label. Hyunjin brings her own bottle of beer to her lips as she raises her eyes to the furrowed brows of the girl next to her. She grabs a full bottle from her right and places it in front of the girl which causes them to look up in confusion at Hyunjin’s gesture.

“I still haven’t finished this bottle.” 

“Swallowing isn’t hard. Drink more, Jungeun unnie. It’ll loosen you up.”

Jungeun warily looks into Hyunjin’s eyes, but Hyunjin just stares right back at her with that famous blank expression she does so well. Hyunjin knows that Jungeun had always been cautious of her, especially since she’s always been so close to Jinsol. She’s well aware of what went down between Jungeun and Jinsol since she was the one Jinsol had run to talk to about her broken heart. She knew Jinsol hardly kept in contact with any of the other girls during her time abroad but from time to time, Jinsol would message her out of the blue. And Hyunjin did the same. Sure, Sooyoung was Jinsol’s best friend growing up but Hyunjin was Jinsol’s sister. They weren’t sisters by blood but their friendship went beyond the line of friends and bordered on family, something she knew Jungeun felt slightly threatened by once upon a time. But it seems like every time they see each other in gatherings, there’s something within the back of Jungeun’s irises that tells Hyunjin that there’s doubt there. But Hyunjin doesn’t ever let Jungeun’s mind feel at ease with reassurance by letting her know that it’s always been sisterly love between her and Jinsol. She didn’t then and she won’t now. And so Hyunjin feigns innocence as she looks back into Jungeun’s eyes.

A phone lights up between the two and both eyes break contact to look at the lit-up screen. 

MESSAGES now

**Sol unnieeee**

Just parked… Can you come get me from out front?

Hyunjin clears her throat as she stands from her seat, picking up her phone, her thumb already tapping to call the blonde. She looks down at Jungeun’s head, which is now thrown back as the girl downs the unfinished beer she’d been nursing since she arrived at the restaurant. She’s got her phone pressed to her ear, ready to walk to the entrance to grab Jinsol and the last thing Hyunjin sees Jungeun do is reach for the new bottle of beer she left in front of her. 

~

“Hyun, where’s Heejin?”

The younger girl swallows a big gulp of beer. The others don’t notice that Hyunijn’s showing a slight discomfort to the question asked, although Hyunjin’s sure Jinsol picked up on it. 

“She’ll join us after dinner. The karaoke bar.”

Jinsol merely nods at her answer and Hyunjin lets her shoulders relax. The whole table quietens as they hear Sooyoung clear her throat. They all look up to the head of the table to see the girl raising her beer to make a toast to start off the night. After Sooyoung’s toast, the sound of laughter and the clinks of glasses being tapped against one another can be heard from the biggest table in the restaurant. 

MESSAGES now

**Heekie my bb**

Will there be food at karaoke? :(

Hyunjin swipes at the text notification to reply. 

**Heekie my bb**

**Today** 7:23 pm

Will there be food at karaoke? :(

We’re literally all eating dinner right now...

:(

I’ll buy you a bucket of chicken there

:)

I love you

Hyunjin doesn’t reply just yet. She just stares at the words and frowns because thoughts are coming up now that’s disrupting her time with her friends. She’s always been good at compartmentalizing, and so she does just that. She puts those thoughts away, ready to be brought back out when there’s time, and to be honest to herself, when she’s ready. Whatever that means. 

She replies before putting her phone back in her bag.

**Today** 7:26 pm

I love you too babo

~

The strobes lights are on, the music is loud and the voices singing along are surprisingly on key. All the girls are squeezed into the karaoke booth that Jiwoo booked. The booth is curved in a soft U like shape, facing the big screen attached to the wall and Hyunjin is slightly worried about where Heejin’s going to sit since it’s already pretty squishy in the booth. She’s mainly worried because the bucket of chicken she bought is on the table in front of her and she knows Heejin would want to be near it since she’ll be super hungry after practice. Suddenly, Jiwoo lets out a big squeal and all the girls look to see Heejin arrive at the booth. 

“Heejin, where’s Haseul? I thought she said she was coming with you?”

“She exhausted herself today since we’ve been practicing like crazy for our performance,” Heejin squeezes herself in between Hyunjin and Yerim despite there being hardly any space, along while swiping the beer off Hyunjin’s hand as the girl was about to take a drink. 

“She decided to just head home,” Heejin takes a gulp before handing the beer back to an unimpressed Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that she felt glad that Heejin had promptly chosen to squeeze in just to sit next to her yet annoyed at how she just swiped the beer off her to take a drink. Any other night Hyunjin honestly wouldn’t have minded, but tonight, when the group arrived at the karaoke bar, she offered to drive Jinsol home if the blonde wanted to _drink,_ drink. Hyunjin had ultimately decided that out of the two of them, Jinsol would be the one that needed to get drunk the most, and so the bottle in her hand would be the last drink Hyunjin would have for the night. 

Hyunjin was slightly annoyed at Heejin for taking a sip of her beer because she knew that she’d need all the alcohol she could get in her system to pull her through the karaoke session.

The things she did for Jinsol. 

A warm hand on her right thigh brings her out of her thoughts, and with a squeeze, she finally looks up to see Heejin’s puffed up cheeks full of chicken. Hyunjin knows Heejin’s really hungry but she also knew that her friend would try and shove in as much chicken in her mouth before a song starts playing, just so she could sing along. 

Hyunjin, with a blank look on her face, watches Heejin chew until she swallows everything. She knew that with a squeeze on her thigh that Heejin wanted to say something to her.

“Thanks for getting me my favorite, Hyun.” Heejin absentmindedly kisses Hyunjin on her cheek before turning back to the bucket of chicken in front of her, ready to attack it with the chopsticks in her hand. Hyunjin just nods before taking another small sip from the bottle in her hand. 

She got Heejin a bucket of boneless chicken, smothered in soy and garlic sauce. One of the most basic flavors for fried chicken in South Korea. Yet for something so basic, it was also a very popular flavor. It was a classic. And that’s what Hyunjin could describe Heejin as. Someone who couldn’t be described as something mundane as the word basic but _classic_. It was stupid to think, but Hyunjin thought Heejin was someone who was of timeless quality. She was well recognised because there was a certain value in her social standing that she’s established through her personality, looks and talents. Heejin was popular. And sure Hyunjin was popular too, but there was something about Heejin that made crowds warm up to her quicker. In their year level, Hyunjin was the ice queen, only showing her dumb, goofy side to those close to her. But Heejin was the princess that all the commoners loved. And they would cheer for her succession on the throne. 

“Hyun, let’s get drunk tonight.”

“I can’t. I told Sol unnie that I’d drive her home.”

Heejin turns her head back towards Hyunjin, an eyebrow raised as she looks to the bottle in Hyunjin’s hand. 

“It’s my last one.”

“Yeah, and how many have you had?”

“This is my third.”

Heejin rolls her eyes before leaning over Yerim to grab the bottle of water in front of Hyejoo. She swaps the bottle of water with the bottle of beer in Hyunjin’s hand before picking up a piece of chicken with her chopsticks and hovering it in front of Hyunjin’s lips. 

“You need to sober up if you’re driving later. The beer’s mine now.”

Hyunjin audibly lets out a loud huff before opening her mouth to let Heejin drop the piece of chicken in. 

“Don’t be annoyed. I love you, Hyun. That’s why I’m doing this.”

“Thanks, eomma.”

There’s a part of Hyunjin that wishes she didn’t say that. But there’s also a part of her that’s glad she did. This is what it was for them. Platonic. It’s what Hyunjin knew. 

~

“How’s your games been Hyun?”

It’s the day after dinner and karaoke. The day Hyunjin had promised she’d help Jinsol unpack the rest of her stuff, but it’s only been 20 minutes in and Hyunjin craves the feeling of her bed. They really went to sleep around 3:30am the night before and got up a little after 10am the next morning. She wasn’t even hung over, but she loved her sleep. Hyunjin was tired, but the thought of a free lunch - barbecue to be exact - was what’s pulling her through. 

“Good.” Hyunjin replies flatly as she slices one of the boxes open with a box cutter. 

“Ok, what’s wrong? Usually your own tongue would stumble over itself to talk about soccer. And it can’t just be ‘good’ since I asked Heejin about it and she said you’ve been smashing it recently.”

“If you’re going to ask Heejin about it why even bother asking me?” Hyunjin asks bluntly, almost slamming the short pile of plates onto the kitchen bench. 

“Well damn Hyunjin, I know those plates are Corelle and they’re unbreakable, but I also know what your big ass hands can do, so stop being shitty. They’re still eomma’s plates you babo.”

Hyunjin rightfully looks shameful as she starts placing bowls from the box, gently on the bench, “Sorry unnie.”

“I’m just gonna go ahead and say that whatever this is,” the blonde uses her right hand to gesture at Hyunjin, “has to do with Heejin and not soccer. And don’t even bother denying it. You _know _you can talk to me about it Hyun, so why don’t you? I tell you basically everything, even though it’s hard for me since I never really share... But I do it because it’s _you_. And I know you’re the same as me. You hardly share either... But I’ve purposely given you time and you just _won’t_. And it’s making me frustrated because I don’t understand why. Why can’t you Hyunjin? It’s _me._”

Hyunjin stops what she’s doing to look right at Jinsol, who was in the living room moving the few boxes left on the floor. The blonde looks up and Hyunjin knows not to put her guard up. She lets it show in her eyes. Hyunjin’s eyes were big, and they were incredibly expressive, but only when Hyunjin let them be. 

“Because… Because I can’t even talk to myself about it.”

Jinsol takes one look at Hyunjin’s eyes and she instantly knows she needs to pull back and be less aggressive. 

“Look Hyun, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t push you. I know I shouldn’t.”

“I’m sorry too. I know I can talk to you about it, but you should also know that I need time.”

Hands run through blonde hair and Jinsol sighs, “Yeah, and I also know you need to be prodded.”

“It’s just… This is different. This is… Big. It may not be big to anyone else, but it is to me and I… God, it’s ruining me unnie. It’s changing everything. And I hate it.”

Hyunjin’s legs feel weak and so she moves to the other side of the bench to sit on a kitchen stool. 

“I need to figure it out by myself first. I mean… I feel like…” Hyunjin groans out in frustration, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes before she closes them, “I’m really scared.” 

Jinsol makes her way to Hyunjin and sees tears slide slowly down her naturally chubby cheeks and Jinsol thinks she knows. 

Hyunjin was late. Being late usually means you’re last. And when Hyunjin’s last at something - which was hardly ever - she absolutely hated it. It made her angry, but it also made her work harder. But being last (to this) for her was different. It’s different when you’re last and you’ve lost to yourself. Hyunjin didn’t want to work harder, she wanted it all to just go away. Sweep it under the rug. Forget whatever it was and live her life back to how she’s been living it. But with something like this, she couldn’t. She can’t live her life like the old her because she isn’t the old her anymore. And Hyunjin can’t help but feel guilty because she wishes she was. She wishes she wasn’t like this.

“Unnie loves you, Hyun.”

And that was enough. Hyunjin was glad Jinsol didn’t say anything else, because she had a feeling Jinsol would have figured it out. She feels grateful that Jinsol would just know not to comment on it. She didn’t want answers to what her problem was, she just needed to know she was loved the same as the old her was loved. 

“I love you too, unnie.”

Jinsol embraces her from behind and Hyunjin places her hands on the arms around her. She stares at the words written on the opened box on the bench and laughs out loud.

“What? Whatchu laughing at, weirdo?”

“Before, we couldn’t figure out which box the bowls were in but it literally says right there on the box,” Hyunjin points to the large writing on the box - ‘PLATES + BOWLS!’

“We really had to eat out of the pots, huh…” Hyunjin chuckles. 

“Well I’m glad we did. Less dishes to wash. Especially since you hate it when all the ramen is cooked in one pot. I always have to use two pots when I eat ramen with you! God, the extra labour. Using two pots to cook them separately _then_ washing them... You’re so lucky I love you.”

“I let anyone else cook the ramen in one pot but you, because every time I see you divide our halves you always have more noodles than me, and I have most of the soup! You can’t be trusted with something as sacred as food, unnie. You’re just not fair.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“See? You didn’t deny it.”

~

Hyunjin already hates it here. She’s getting free food, but food can’t be consumed in peace within the wrong atmosphere and right now it’s definitely too tense. She knows Jinsol would be having a hard time and so to loosen her up, she places her cool hand on the back of Jinsol’s neck to massage it. Hyunjin definitely notices the way Jungeun’s eyes quickly cut to her, watching her soothe Jinsol for 3 seconds before darting her eyes back down to the menu, jaws slightly grinding. 

Hyunjin stays quiet throughout lunch, keeping watch over the food since she’s the one on cooking duty. She even stays quiet about the amount of lettuce they received. She listens to the friendly verbal tennis match between the two as they both try and subtly learn about the qualities in each other that Jungeun fell for. It’s a discreet competition, and one with no malice intent but Hyunjin stays alert, ready to swoop in if Jinsol needs her. Hyunjin finds it interesting how both girls seem to just show appreciation of the other for making Jungeun happy. Both were whipped for Jungeun, and Hyunjin tries not to physically roll her eyes. Hyunjin hates it here. 

Hyunjin’s eyeing the last bit of tteokbokki, wondering if anyone would care if she finished it off. She quickly decides that no one would care because no one would even notice. The other three so caught up with whatever is happening between them that she could get stabbed and bleed to death and the three would still be going on about whatever. And so Hyunjin gets her chopsticks ready for the taking. But Jinsol subtly places her right hand on Hyunjin’s left knee under the table and squeezes.

Hyunjin really wanted the rest of that tteokbokki but she also knows that Jinsol really wanted to leave. 

The things she does for Jinsol. 

“Ah. We have to go. Jinsol unnie has to start packing her bags…Again. We literally _just_ unpacked but she’s got a flight to catch soon.”

Hyunjin notes how Jungeun starts to fidget with her fingers before quickly grabbing onto Haseul’s hand to stop.

They say their farewells and it takes Hyunjin’s tight grip on Jinsol’s forearm for the blonde to snap out of their daze as they walk back to Jinsol’s car. 

“So… What’s going on in that mind of yours?”

“I think… I’m going to be ok.”

“Nice. Let’s go get drunk.”

“It’s not even 5pm yet and I still need to pack.”

“Time is a concept, it’s not real. And you can pack tomorrow… You don’t leave until late tomorrrow night anyway. Plus, you owe me since I couldn’t get blind drunk last night. I think I deserve a couple drinks after fourth wheeling today.”

“You’re annoying.”

“And also, right.”

~

“It all started when… Actually, no. It was… Hold on…”

Hyunjin maybe shouldn’t have drank that much. She knew she needed to get a couple drinks in before she could talk to Jinsol but now that they’ve had a few, her mind and her mouth weren’t working together as well as they usually do.

_When did it start? _Hyunjin thinks but it starts to hurt her head. She starts getting frustrated because she owes it to Jinsol, but most of all, she owes it to herself. She _needs_ to sort herself out. She’s given it enough time. 

“It was our third game of the season. We almost didn’t win that one. But last minute, Yerim scored a goal.” Hyunjin says all this slowly, still thinking about what to say next. 

“And well... Heejin watches all my games. You know that, and everyone knows that. She watches my games for _me_. So... I’m just used to certain things, you know? Like… How after the game she’d come from the bleachers and give me a big hug even though I’m all sweaty and probably stink. Then she’ll tell me how great I was or tell me that the team would do better next time. She also tells me how many goals I got in. She’ll be all like, “2! You got 2 goals for me, Hyun!” and I’d always shake my head and say they weren’t for her at all but of course they were... ‘Cause after each goal I get in, I’d point straight at her. Corny I know, but… I just did it ‘cause she’d smile so big after it. And I really like it when she smiles... You know?”

Hyunjin looks to Jinsol who was staring at the glass in front of them, tracing their finger on the rim. The blonde looks up into Hyunjin’s eyes and nods, letting her know she gets it. 

“Yeah, well… That particular game, I scored a fair bit. I remember because I’d always look to the crowd to look at Heejin but she always looked distracted. She would never catch me looking at her, and she _always _caught me looking at her ‘cause she’d be looking at _me._ But in this game, she wasn’t paying attention. So, it made me want to score more, you know? Make her look at me.”

Hyunjin pauses to take a sip of the orange drink in front of her. Her throat was getting dry. 

“So after the after game huddle, I made sure to go see her. I was making my way to her, and she was making her way to me, right? She had a big smile on her face, and I thought she was happy for me... Happy for the team. But suddenly this girl runs past me, even pushes my shoulder with hers, and runs straight into Heejin’s arms.”

Jinsol coughs out the gulp she was trying to swallow, “What kind of drama is this, Hyun?”

“Right? You tell me! So anyway, after they’re done hugging... Heejin sees me and introduces the girl to me.”

Hyunjin pauses. 

“Ryujin.”

Hyunjin pauses again, taking the tiniest sip from her drink before going back to her story, “She was one of the forwards from the other team.”

Jinsol lets out a big huff of air out of her puffed up cheeks, “_You’re_ a forward in your team, Hyun…” Jinsol states lamely, not knowing what to say to her friend.

“I’m better.”

“Of course you are.”

Hyunjin knew it was childish but hearing Jinsol say it did make her feel slightly better. Even if Jinsol’s never seen Ryujin play.

“Heejin told me that they’re friends from blah blah blah. I don’t even know ‘cause I honestly didn’t want to hear it. Ever since that game, she’s all she talks about. So, every time she mentions her, I zone out… I’ve been zoning out for months now, unnie!”

“So…” Jinsol doesn’t really know how to go about this, but asks anyway, “Heejin likes this Ryujin girl then, yes?”

“Probably. They’ve been hanging out a lot these past few months.”

The blonde nods to this new information, “And you’re… What? Jealous?”

“No!” 

Jinsol widens her eyes in a short second as she moves her head to the side, “Ok… So, you’re _not_ jealous… You’re…….?”

“Annoyed. Just… annoyed.”

“Hmm… Ok…”

“So… That’s it.”

Jinsol quirks an eyebrow up at this which makes it clear to Hyunjin that the older blonde doesn’t believe her when she says that that’s it_._ The blonde’s eyes start to narrow, and Jinsol subconsciously bites both her lips together. Seeing this, Hyunjin doesn’t have to decipher the fact that Jinsol has more to say but is pulling back. Yet what comes out of the blonde’s mouth causes Hyunjin’s shoulders to relax. 

“Let’s take two more shots.”

Hyunjin doesn’t object as she immediately pulls Jinsol’s empty shot glass towards her own. Hyunjin pours both their shots before grabbing her orange drink with her left hand, having it ready as a chaser. 

The two down it and Hyunjin quickly gulps a bit of her orange drink before pouring another round for them. Once that round was done, Jinsol let’s one minute of silence linger between them before asking her friend a question. 

_The _question.

“Do you like Heejin?”

Hyunjin doesn’t even need to look at Jinsol to know what the older girl was implying. She knew she wasn’t asking if she liked Heejin _platonically_, and she wasn’t going to play dumb either. 

Hyunjin looks up, straight into Jinsol’s eyes and says the words she says out loud when she stares at herself in the mirror, as she shakes her head once. 

“I’m straight.”

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi friends. 
> 
> LOONA is back with So What, so let's try and support them in any way we can. Even if it's just a couple votes for music shows (please check twitter for what music show award we’re aiming to win and how) or streaming the MV a couple times! The songs on # are sooo good, like thank God 'cause Orbits have been deprived from new music for sooooo long. I would also like to come out as an Oh (Yes I Am) enthusiast... It was very hard to choose a favorite b-side but this time I don't think I chose it... It chose ME. Also, the hidden track for #.... Um, what the actual f- 
> 
> Questions, thoughts, feelings and comments about this update are very much welcome and are really appreciated.  
Sorry if you're annoyed that the new chapter is through Hyunjin's POV and that LIPSOUL is left on a cliffhanger but also, not sorry :)
> 
> Sin, if you're reading this... Love you sis 
> 
> Until next time, gang.


	8. Chapter 2 Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything feels like a question mark.

~

“And then she said that even a broken clock is right twice a day.”

Hyunjin nods, “Eomma is wise, after all.”

“She gets it from me.”

The younger girl rolls her eyes over dramatically, glad that her and Jinsol were facetiming so the older one could see her reaction, “Anyway, when are you back from Jeju again?”

“You know I’m not even here that long… How can you already forget what day I’ll be back? Do you not care for me, Hyunjinie?” Jinsol pulls her famous expression, the one where she brings her eyebrows together as she pouts.

Hyunjin makes a show of gagging, “You know what? Stay there.”

Jinsol playfully scrunches up her face in fake pain, “This is how you treat me? After all these years of raising you?”

“I’m gonna hang up.”

“Friday. I’ll be back Friday morning,” Jinsol quickly answers, knowing Hyunjin really wouldn’t hesitate to hang up on her. 

“That means you’re coming to Sooyoung unnie’s little drink up that night, then?”

“No.”

“Liar,” Hyunjin genuinely can’t help but roll her eyes at Jinsol’s answer, “You like alcohol too much to pass it up, unnie.”

“Hey! I haven’t drank in a while Hyun...”

“Ok, let’s pretend we didn’t get absolutely smashed the night before you left... Also, you were literally drinking last night with appa…”

Jinsol’s actually bewildered and almost scared at what Hyunjin’s just said, “How would you even know that? I didn’t post a story.”

“I was on the phone to eomma,” The younger one states so matter -of- factly with Jinsol letting out a loud groan. 

“I can’t believe you’re her favourite daughter and you’re not even actually hers.”

A smug smile slips gracefully on Hyunjin’s face, “Ajummas love me,” she states, with a shrug. 

“Watch _me_ hang up.”

“Sure.”

“Wait! How’s things with Heejin?”

Hyunjin internally groans. She thought she had gotten away with Heejin not being brought up. “Normal.” Hyunjin watches the blonde through the screen, Jinsol clearly making it obvious on her face that she doesn’t believe her. 

“Ok. Well… I’ll catch you Friday night… Maybe.”

“_Probably_.” Hyunjin corrects her. 

“Whatever. Don’t call or text me cause I’m sick of you.”

“Done.”

“And while you’re at it, don’t call or text _my_ eomma. Call or text Heejin instead, bye!”

The blonde throws a quick wave at Hyunjin through the screen and hangs up before Hyunjin could get a reply in. Hyunjin scowls at her screen, annoyed that this time, Jinsol got to hang up first. 

Hyunjin taps on her text messages, cause as always, the loser had to text their ‘goodbye’.

**Sol Unnieeee**

**Today** 9:18 am

I’m gonna call eomma and tell

her you were mean to me

At this point I’m literally gonna

steal her phone so I can block your

number on it

Luv u unnie <3333 xx

Stop texting me x

~

“I hate feeling like people are getting bored of me.” Jinsol says out of the blue. 

Hyunjin grabs the drink back from Jinsol’s hand and takes another drink from it, “You’re not here to entertain anybody.”

“Mhmm,” Jinsol hums, agreeing. Jinsol presses her lips together, as she drops her gaze from Jungeun’s direction to look at Hyunjin, “You know Hyun, you do this thing where you know the exact thing to say at the exact time and place… It’s unsettling at times. Makes me think we’re in a movie and you get all the good lines, you know?”

Hyunjin chuckles, “Well then… In this ‘movie’, am I the main protagonist, or you?”

“I don’t think that matters, Hyun. The movie we’re in isn’t exactly going to be nominated for the Palme D’Or,” Jinsol scoffs, bringing her drink back to her lips, letting the insanely sweet drink Hyejoo made, fill up her mouth before swallowing. 

“Exactly. We can go off script.”

“See? There you go again,” Jinsol frowns at her drink, swirling it around the cup. Before the blonde could lift her arm up to drink the rest of it, Hyunjin swipes it off her, “Hey-”

“What I’m saying is…” Hyunjin downs the rest of the drink, “We can do whatever we want. There’s no such thing as something being predestined.”

“Mmm. Well, what does it mean if I’m one of those fools that believe in destiny?”

“Well you already said it… It just means you’re a _fool_.” 

Jinsol pokes her tongue out at Hyunjin for the lack of anything good to retort at the younger’s words. She grabs her cup back, tapping her fingers on the rim, “I need to get wrecked tonight.” The blonde gets up from her stool at the kitchen bench, “Let’s go play with them,” Jinsol nods her head over to the dining table, where Sooyoung and the girls were.

“No thanks,” Hyunjin shakes her head, “I’m still recovering from the BFK you gave me before, traitor.”

The older one rolls her eyes, “Coward.”

  
“Have fun!” Hyunjin calls after her unnie. With her chin resting in her left palm, she watches the blonde make her way to the group of girls who were shrieking louder than the music playing from the speakers on the corner. 

Hyunjin tries. She really does. But she can’t stop her eyes from straying over to Heejin. The truth was she was all ready to drink more but she needed some physical space from her best friend. Heejin makes a habit of sitting on Hyunjin’s lap, and tonight, Hyunjin’s intoxicated mind was blurring the lines between what was platonic and non-platonic for them. Before she went over to be with Jinsol, Hyunjin knew that she was getting handsy with Heejin on her lap. But that was the thing. Heejin didn’t mind. It was too normal between them. 

Hyunjin was too caught up with dissecting Heejin’s exact movements while playing a drinking game with the other girls that she failed to notice Yerim take a seat on the bar stool that Jinsol had sat on mere seconds before. 

“Hyun, unnie.”

“Yahhh,” Hyunjin jolts from her position on the kitchen bench, “Yerim.” 

The younger one just giggles in that Yerim way. Her eyes swallowed up by her cheeks due to her smile. Hyunjin forms her hands into fists, resisting the urge to pinch Yerim’s cheeks. She was just too _good_.

“You know, you’re not as mysterious as you make yourself out to be,” Yerim slides one of the drinks from her hands across the short distance between them on the kitchen bench, in front of Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin’s eyebrows raise in surprise at the slight jab, “Wow, Yerim... Didn’t know it was that time of the night where a D&M was in session.” 

The younger girl just chuckled as she took another gulp of the other drink she brought over with her, “Yeah well, it’s almost a waste not to have a Deep & Meaningful when one’s intoxicated.”

Hyunjin nodded in agreement as she gulped more liquid from the cup Yerim had given her, “You’re not wrong,” she replies, “You know… You’re not as good at hiding your sadness as you think you are.” It’s Yerim’s turn to raise her eyebrows. Hyunjin shrugs as she continues, “Sure, you have a smile that ends up aching other people’s cheeks, and you have a laugh that sounds like a joyous melody... And sunshine literally shines out of your whole being, but all that just amplifies the few moments that you’re _not_ like that.” Hyunjin looks up to see Yerim’s jaw tighten as a short, fake smile quickly graces her face, an instant habit that both girls knew. 

“You’re a liar too, Yerim. Same as me. Same as Sol unnie,” Hyunjin finishes off her drink before grabbing Yerim’s cup to finish it off too, “Jungeun unnie is a liar too. A pathetic one. You know how someone’s just cried but it’s obvious that they’re trying to hide that they did? And all you can do is pretend you don’t see the red eyes and unwiped tears they missed just so they don’t get embarrassed? That’s how Jungeun unnie lies. It’s obvious when she lies but you just have to pretend to believe her because that’s what she wants. That’s what she needs.” Hyunjin knows Yerim was defensive about Jungeun, especially since they were both so close. So, it doesn’t surprise her that Yerim tries to cover up for her unnie. 

“You don’t know her. You don’t have the right to commentate her actions to analyse who she is. Not when you don’t even know yourself.”

Hyunjin genuinely smiles at this. It hurt hearing it, but it was kind of true. She places both hers and Yerim’s cups in front of her to mix them both another drink. “Sure. But the point is Yerim, we’re all liars.” Hyunjin mixes the blue drink with a lone, unused chopstick she found on the kitchen bench, “If Sol unnie had stayed, you would’ve turned out slightly different, you know? You definitely would’ve gotten more affection. Jungeun unnie seems like she’s all skin and bones in a hug, but Sol unnie? Hugging her isn’t like that at all, isn’t it _Yerimie_?” 

Hyunjin also knows that Yerim was secretly, deeply hurt that Jinsol didn’t keep in touch with her since they were incredibly close. But Hyunjin also knew that Jinsol had convinced herself that Jungeun had staked a claim on Yerim when the blonde left. 

“Is Heejin unnie a liar?” Yerim asks out of the blue, completely disregarding Hyunjin’s question. 

Hyunjin had always liked Yerim. Sure, she was the purest being on the whole earth, but she also knew when to bite back. 

“No.” 

Both girls then take a pause at the harmless, verbal fencing game they were playing to take a sip of their drinks. But Hyunjin is quick to ask something she’s always wondered, “How’d you convince her you were the same?”

“What?” Yerim turns her head towards Hyunjin in confusion. 

“How’d you convince Hyejoo that you were both similar enough people to date?” And for the first time, Hyunjin hears a bitter laugh leave Yerim’s lips. 

“That’s the wrong question. We’re both different. _Really_ different... But even then, when you hold someone else's hand, your fingers always fill up the empty space in between theirs.” To Yerim’s answer, Hyunjin nods, understanding what Yerim was subtly saying. Yerim had things in her that made up for the things Hyejoo didn’t have. And the same goes the other way.

“She was scared about going for it because she was so convinced we were _too_ different. To her, there were so many reasons why she _shouldn’t_ love me. She said her feelings for me were irrational. That they would eventually pass... It was so hard, but I had to convince her that being different was ok. That sometimes… Just_ loving _someone was enough to be together… After all, isn’t irrational love, still love?”

“Mmm. I guess so?” Hyunjin answers dumbly, although she’s not exactly sure herself. 

“Yeah well, I don’t actually know the answer either. Because with Hyejoo, it wasn’t irrational love. Not for me anyway. I thought long and hard about it so many times and there were just so many valid reasons why I _did_ love her.” Hyunjin couldn’t do anything but nod lamely at what Yerim says. What do you do when you keep overthinking about your feelings that every thought just comes full circle? Hyunjin had been convincing herself that she _shouldn’t_ be having these feelings but then comes the thoughts that, there are in fact, valid reasons why she had these feelings.

The loud sound of glass clumsily landing on the kitchen bench snaps the two out of the silence between them as they both look up to see a slightly more intoxicated Jinsol. It must’ve been at least 20 minutes since Jinsol had left Hyunjin to go to play with the others. As Hyunjin looks over at the dining table, she instantly recognises that a game of snap was going on. Anyone with shitty reflexes, much like Jinsol, would end up passed out if they played at least 6 games. Especially since snap rounds were always fast. Sooyoung loved playing snap as a drinking game. It was an easy way to get slow ones drunk, fast. Every time you were the last one to place your hand down on a pair, you had to take a full shot. And as Hyunjin inspected Jinsol, she would bet that Jinsol would’ve taken at least 4 shots playing snap with the other girls. 

Long arms engulf Yerim as the younger one laughs in amusement at the display of affection, “Yerimie, my baby... My favourite.” Jinsol whispers. Hyunjin sees the adoration shoot out of Yerim’s eyes. Hyunjin knew that if Jinsol had stayed, Yerim would’ve gotten more of Jinsol’s attention than she did. To Jinsol, Yerim was her baby. And Hyunjin was her sister. 

Motherly love was just different. 

Hyunjin had always liked Yerim. But when they were younger, she couldn’t help but notice that there was an invisible game of tug of war between them. And Jinsol was the rope. 

“You’re still my baby, yes?” Jinsol whispers onto Yerim’s head as she squeezes her tightly.

“Always.”

Hyunjin grabs her drink to leave the two but Yerim was quicker, “Hyejoo’s fighting with Sooyoung unnie over snap again.”

“Yahhh!! Stop delaying the next round and take the shot! We’re all not drunk enough to miss you trying to slip your hand under Heejin unnie’s hand!” All three girls hear Hyejoo shout at Sooyoung. 

“I should go help Jiwoo unnie before Hyejoo flips the table for the third time tonight,” Yerim takes her drink with her but not before looking straight at Hyunjin with the brightest smile. To any other person who wasn’t in their friendship group, it was just another Yerim smile that made you squint from the sunshine blinding you, but if you looked closely, her eyes weren’t squinting from her cheeks. Her eyes were purposely saying something. 

_I’ll let you win the tug of war game tonight. _

Hyunjin usually hated when people let her win.

But Hyunjin had always liked Yerim. So, she accepted it. 

“So, all the girls messaged back.”

“Hmm?” Hyunjin hums, watching as Yerim goes to back hug Hyejoo, who was now seething at Sooyoung for winning the latest round of snap. 

“When you texted the group chat from my phone, they all said they’re down for next Saturday night. And everyone here is going out too.”

“Right…” Hyunjin replies absentmindedly as she downs the drink Yerim had given her before, “Unnie?”

“Hm?”

“What if what I’m feeling is just irrational feelings?”

“Sure,” Jinsol says too indifferently, bringing her drink to her lips.

Hyunjin shakes her head, annoyed, “I don’t think you’re listening.”

Jinsol notices Hyunjin’s quick change of mood and places her drink back down without taking a drink. “Irrational feelings versus rational feelings... Which out of the two is more valid? I don’t think it really matters Hyun; they both fuck you up. No matter how hard you think about it, your heart does whatever it wants anyway.”

“Well, that doesn’t help me.”

“The point is you can’t help what you feel. Anyway... Isn’t irrational love, still love?”

Hyunjin drums her fingers onto the kitchen bench, “I take it you’ve spoken to Yerim about this before?”

Jinsol stays quiet, thinking while moving her jaw side to side, before finally taking a sip of her drink. “It was the only time we really spoke while I was away… You know, she called me sobbing... Hearing her like that, hurt.”

“What’d you tell her?”

Jinsol purses her lips in thought, “Well in short, I told her to stop trying to make sense of feelings - or in her case, Hyejoo’s feelings - and think about what she wanted to happen. Not to think about what the endgame was supposed to be, but what was _her_ endgame. Then she told me she wanted her and Hyejoo to end up together. So, I pushed her to just go for it even if Hyejoo was scared.”

“Yeah well, what if you don’t know what you want?”

“If I knew the answer to that I wouldn’t have been like that over Jungeun…” Jinsol whispers, seemingly to herself. 

Hyunjin pouts, “Then there’s literally no answer for this then? We just have to suffer while we wait it out? This is some bullshit.”

“Hyun?”

“Mm.”

“Why do you think your feelings might be irrational? I mean… You- _Someone_ doesn't just… Change over something… _Irrational_.”

Hyunjin knows what Jinsol was trying to get at but she chooses to ignore that part for now. “It’s just… I’ve never been jealous over Heejin before since it’s always just been her and me. So… Now that Heejin is spending her time with someone else other than me... I don’t know how to act. Like… What if I just feel like this because I’ve never shared her before, you know?”

Jinsol snorts, “A bit childish if you ask me. You’ve always dated around, Hyun… And-”

“Yeah, well _she_ hasn’t,” Hyunjin cuts off the blonde in frustration, “She’s never actually dated anyone. She’s always been single despite having a million admirers but for once... It seems like she’s actually interested in someone, and it’s pissing me off. And that’s one of the reasons why I’m so angry at myself because how _selfish_ could I be? I want her all to myself because… Because...” Jinsol moves her hand to grip one of Hyunjin’s own. The blonde doesn’t look at her because she doesn’t want Hyunjin to think she expects an answer. 

But Hyunjin answers anyway. 

“I think I _like_ like her.” 

It’s the first time that Hyunjin admits it to herself. And in that moment, she knows that there’s a truth to that saying that sometimes saying things out loud, makes it more real. She kind of thought in the heat of the moment that she’d finally feel lighter. That she could finally breathe easy again. But really, her chest just felt tighter. Because now, she has to swallow something that was shoved down her throat. 

And it hurts. 

“I love her, yes. But am I in love with her? I can’t say it, and I won’t. Because I really don’t know… I’ve never been in love, but I’ve also never felt like this and I… I’m scared because I was so sure of myself before all this. You _know_ me, unnie. I’m one of the most confident motherfuckers out there because I know who I am and what I’m about but now… I’m… I’m not as straight as I believed I was. So, am I still… _Me_?”

The older blonde lets silence sit between them for a beat, as she watches her own finger trace the rim of the glass in front of her before finally deciding what to say. 

“This is gonna sound like a cop out answer Hyun, but that’s for you to decide.”

~

“Let’s go ladies!” Heejin cheers as she powers through in between Yerim and Hyejoo, pulling a reluctant Hyunjin behind her, their hands clasped together. 

“Last one to touch the left stage speaker on the D floor shouts a round of shots!” Heejin says as she pulls Hyunjin with her through the doors at the top of the stairs.

A few metres into the actual club and Heejin’s grip around Hyunjin’s hand tightens as they manoeuvre their way through the slightly crowded dance floor, on the way to the speaker. It wasn’t that early into the night, but it wasn’t that later either. Hyunjin was glad about going out with Sooyoung and Jinsol since the two knew the best time to go out. The older girls always knew the prime time to get to the club, in that it wasn’t early enough that once you get in, you didn’t have to wait for the club to get rowdy, and it wasn’t late enough that you had to wait a long time lining up outside, that you end up sober once you get to the door. Hyunjin was glad because she was just the right amount of buzzed, which was exactly what she wanted for what she was planning on doing tonight.

Getting to the speaker within a minute of announcing the race, Heejin turns around to face Hyunjin, wrapping her arms around the slightly taller girl’s neck while bobbing her head along to the beat. As Heejin then goes to pull Hyunjin’s neck closer down to her, Hyunjin, by habit, brings her head down so that her left ear is right where Heejin’s lips were. She knew Heejin was saying something to her but Hyunjin couldn’t focus on what was being said because the only thing she could comprehend at that exact moment was Heejin’s lips caressing her ear, which was sending a tingle straight down from her left ear to her left hip. 

Seconds pass and Hyunjin comes to realise that Heejin wasn’t necessarily _saying_ something to her, but actually singing along to the song the Dj was playing. Hyunjin’s hands then naturally slide onto Heejin’s hips, guiding them as they sway along to the music. Hyunjin’s surprised at how different tonight feels. All the other nights they’ve been out together, Heejin dancing and grinding on her was a normal thing between them, but tonight, Hyunjin for once, wanted something _more._ She starts to get annoyed at herself because her body’s reacting to things it should be used to. Heejin has always done this, but now, it’s loud and clear to Hyunjin that her feelings for her best friend, are definitely no longer platonic. 

Before Hyunjin could even stop herself from closing the small space between her and Heejin’s body, Yerim grabs Heejin’s arm, dragging her to the bar. 

Hyunjin feels a hand squeeze her right shoulder before her body’s being pulled towards the owner, her left shoulder softly hitting their chest. She looks to her left and Jinsol’s got a knowing look on her face, “C’mon Hyun, the round of shots is Jiwoo’s shout.”

~

“Come on! Just do a couple!”

Hyunjin’s eyes widen at the scene in front of her. She doesn’t know whether she should be shocked at the amount of shot glasses filled with hard liquor on the booth table, or the amount of empty shot glasses scattered on it. All of the older girls have their eyes on her and Heejin since they’ve just got to the table and Hyunjin kind of regrets going to the booth. Hyunjin had told Heejin she needed a break from dancing, when really, she needed to add space between them before she actually loses it and goes ahead and kisses her at the D floor. But right now, Hyunjin would rather kiss Heejin than do any more shots. She’s already had a few since they’ve been here for a few hours and Hyunjin doesn’t think she can down anymore without vomiting everything out. 

Hyunjin looks at Jinsol, her eyes asking her unnie in silence, what to do. But all Jinsol does is nod with a chuckle thrown her way before she gives her attention back to the girl sitting beside her. Hyunjin kind of recognises the girl next to Jinsol but can’t place a name to the face. The girl must’ve changed her hairstyle or something. 

“Hyunjin, you and your girlfriend should do some shots, c’mon!”

Hyunjin had hung out with Jinsol’s uni friends a few times, back before the blonde had left to study abroad. Hyunjin had always liked the way Lisa became incredibly obnoxious when she got drunk since it was funny to watch, but right now, she wished Lisa would watch what she says. Especially since she was very, very wrong. 

The hand wrapped around the right side of Hyunjin's neck slides off and she watches as Heejin does so to rub her hands together, completely disregarding the first half of what Lisa said, too excited to drink more shots. 

Hyunjin sighs as she watches Heejin grab two shots, holding one out for her to take.

Fuck it. 

~ 

She was buzzing but she was also tired. An hour had probably passed and within that time, the two friendship groups had successfully mixed at the booth. But once most of the alcohol had been consumed, half of the total group had gone back to the D floor while the other half had stayed at the booth. 

Hyunjin knew the tired side of her was winning out from the buzzed side since she had no idea how her and Heejin had actually come to this. Heejin’s got her up against the wall near the booth, hands wrapped around Hyunjin’s neck, while Hyunjin’s hands rest at Heejin’s hips. They’ve been in this position for a while now, and it’s taking everything in Hyunjin not to take a glance at Heejin’s lips because she knows that once she does, it won’t be long until she loses control and just goes for the kill. 

Right now, Hyunjin’s body aches slightly since she’s been incredibly tense, her muscles slowly straining from being tightly wound up all throughout the night. Her jaw has been working overtime with her teeth grinding onto each other, and she’s hoping Heejin hasn’t noticed how much she’s been having a hard time just being in such close proximity with her. She’s been trying so hard all night not to push too far. To go too far. To ruin the perfect dynamic between her and Heejin, but Heejin looking the way she does right then, with pink and purple lighting being reflected onto her face by the neon sign on the wall Hyunjin was leaning on, Hyunjin thinks maybe she should let go of all the restraint she’s been exercising all night. And so, she makes up her mind. She’s definitely going to go through with her plan.

She’s going to confess. 

She’s actually going to do it tonight and nothing’s going to stop her. Once Hyunjin decides on something, she does it. She’s the type of girl that’s been there, done that and got the t-shirt. Although, her plan wasn’t really a plan, it was more so, tell Heejin her feelings and hope for the best. But with the way Heejin’s been acting all night, Hyunjin thinks that maybe she feels the same. That whatever she’s feeling, goes both ways. So, Hyunjin pulls Heejin even closer to her. 

“Hyun,” Heejin says before Hyunjin could even open her mouth. Heejin’s dropped her hands around Hyunjin’s neck and was now resting them on her shoulders, “I’ve got something to tell you.”

Hyunjin thinks, _this is it. _Heejin’s going to confess instead and Hyunjin let’s a genuine smile spread on her face. “What is it?”

“I think I like someone…” 

Heejin looks down at her feet and Hyunjin finds it cute that she can’t look her in the eyes. Hyunjin, who still has her hands on Heejin’s hips, squeezes them, urging the other girl to look up, “It’s alright… You can tell me,” she says with a soft smile. 

“I think I like…” 

Hyunjin’s hands start to tighten even more around Heejin’s waist, and she hopes she’s not hurting the other girl and that instead, Heejin finds it comforting. Because right now, Hyunjin is internally freaking out, along while being slightly excited for what’s to come next. 

“Ryujin.”

Hands drop to her side and Hyunjin’s face quickly turns back its usual stone face expression. She clears her throat, which is now rapidly closing up. 

“Oh.”

“Nothing’s definite right now but… We’ve started seeing each other… Seeing where it goes.”

“Right…”

It’s now Hyunjin that can’t look into Heejin’s eyes, afraid she’s going to lose it, but in a different type of way than what her urges were before. Her eyes are starting to sting, and her mind is blaming it on the fog machines near the dance floor, but her heart is blaming it on the girl in front of her. Heejin’s stepping back from her orbit and Hyunjin just lets her because what are you supposed to do with someone that isn’t yours to stay. 

“I’m… I’m glad you told me, Heejin. That you were… comfortable enough to tell me. That you... trust me enough to tell me.” 

“Of course, Hyun. I tell you everything. You’re my best friend,” Heejin says as she scrunches her face cutely. 

And for once, Hyunjin hated hearing it. She hated those words and she hated Heejin. Because how dare she make her feel this way towards her. How dare she make her heart skip a million beats a minute with just a smile and a crinkle of her nose. 

Hyunjin was half right in her mind. And she hates that she was. Lately, she’s been telling herself that she’s just been reading into things. All the subtle glances her way, the soft, lingering touches. It’s something they’ve always done but the mind and heart do this thing where they like to work together to fuck up your life. And Hyunjin can’t help but accept it because she should’ve known. She should’ve known better, and she did. Part of the internal conflict in her mind was that this all wasn’t real. All these feelings and thoughts… They weren’t real. 

“I know it’s random, but I had to get it out before I just... couldn’t. It’s still a work in progress so I really didn’t want to say anything, but… I just wanted to say something.”

Hyunjin nods, keeping her mouth shut. She’s definitely not confessing now. 

Suddenly, Heejin is bumped into her, and Hyunjin quickly catches her upright. Hyunjin looks behind her friend to see Jungeun, slightly dishevelled and distressed. 

“Sorry Heejin,” Jungeun rubs Heejin’s back, making sure she was ok, “I’m in a rush. Haseul’s outside.”

“All good, unnie.”

Hyunjin locks eyes with Jungeun, but the older one’s eyes instantly look away. “Enjoy the rest of the night,” Jungeun says before quickly turning around to speed off again.

It’s dark in the club, besides from the bright, neon signs on a few walls and the laser light display for the dance floor, only dim lights shone in certain areas, but it was enough for Hyunjin to notice the slight glint on and around Jungeun’s lips. 

Again, Hyunjin minds her business, but she does pay attention. She’s known Jungeun long enough to know that the older girl wasn’t fond of using lip gloss. It was after Jinsol had left to go abroad that she noticed Jungeun strictly used lip balm. Hyunjin wasn’t surprised. Jinsol was a lip gloss addict. Lip gloss would’ve reminded Jungeun of the blonde. 

“Hyun? You good?”

Hyunjin drops her gaze from Jungeun’s disappearing figure to look back to her best friend and is instantly reminded of what she’d just lost out on. And like the good actor Hyunjin is, she lets a small smile grace her face. She’s really starting to get the hang of lying out loud to herself.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi friends, 
> 
> Long time, no update. I sincerely apologise. It's been hard to write since I'm not that confident with my writing. I write for my friend Sin, and for everyone who is fairly invested in this - I will finish this for you all, I promise, just please bare with me.
> 
> Heads up: Lipsoul's POV is on hold until Hyunjin figures herself out, I'm sorry. Her POV will be wrapped up soon (I think hehe). 
> 
> Questions, thoughts, feelings and comments are appreciated, as always. (You can tell me you hate it, I honestly don't mind LOL). 
> 
> Hope everyone's well and staying safe with all that's going on. 
> 
> I will meet you all again, sooner than you think :)


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